


Getting from Point A to Point B

by VirgilVirgilVirgil



Series: Gravity [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Flashbacks, Force Sensitivity, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Smut, Nagai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-01-26 08:31:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12553412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirgilVirgilVirgil/pseuds/VirgilVirgilVirgil
Summary: A Force user with too many feelings and a moody bounty hunter find themselves at point b, with no idea how they got there.New Readers: You don't need to read any other stories in the series to understand this one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **NEW READERS:** No other stories in the series are necessary to understand this one, however if you want more background on any of the side OC's or on how Kylo Ren ended up with a kid, let me know and I'll point you to the right stories to read.
> 
> My alternative summary for this story was:  
> 
>
>> Kai: Quit being so dramatic.  
> Milo: **DRAMA INTENSIFIES**  
> 
> 
>   
> Hopefully you guys enjoy these characters as much as I enjoyed writing them :)

Milo leaned against the doorway coolly, brushing some hair back from his face. “Hey Kai. What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in awhile.” He tried his best to look effortless, careless, nonchalant, whenever Kai came around.

The black-haired man, as usual, was having none of it. He just looked bored and unimpressed, sitting in on the pilot’s seat of Milo’s ship with his feet kicked up onto the control panel, probably fucking up some of Milo’s settings. He wasn’t invited – Kai just sort of appeared whenever he felt like it. Milo wasn’t sure how the man got into his ship, but he didn’t really care too much. As a bounty hunter, it was Kai’s job to figure out how to sneak into places. Kai happened to be very good at all facets of his job, but particularly excelled in the the sneaking parts and the occasional killing parts.

Milo found it wildly attractive.

Kai frowned at him for a moment. Not that there was anything unusual about Kai frowning. What would have been really bazaar was if Kai had smiled at him. That would have made him worried.

“Officially, I’m here to kill you.”

Milo smirked. “Oh? Another bounty on me?” He’d lost track of how many bounties people had put on his head in the past few years. Five? Six?

Kai’s frown turned to an irritated scowl and he huffed, kicking his feet off the dash and standing. He was nearly a whole head shorter than Milo. Milo had always liked that. Kai hadn’t, or at least he didn’t like Milo pointing it out.

Kai looked at him flatly, clearly not nearly as amused by the bounty as Milo was. “If you’d stop running around the galaxy acting like an asshole I might not get requests to kill you every few months.”

For good measure, he ruffed up Kai’s hair. “It’s good to see you, Kai. It’s been awhile.”

In truth, he’d only done it because he wanted to touch his hair. He kept it grown slightly longer, and always kept it tied back. It was the texture that always got him — his hair was _so_ soft. It was really pleasing to touch, and it had been far too long since he’d had the opportunity to dig his fingers into it.

Kai slapped his hand away. “Stop it.”

“Where have you been?”

“Away.”

“Away where?”

“None of your business.”

Kai was a man of few words, but every now and then when Milo could manage to get him flustered enough, Milo swore he could hear an accent coating the few words he did say. It was barely there – he’d never been able to place it. Of course, Kai would never tell him where he was from. It became more of a guessing game, trying to piece together what may have been Kai’s background.

Kai inhaled deeply, pinching his eyes closed, gathering himself. When he spoke again, his voice was back to the perfectly calm, even, panned tone. “This one is big. You’d be smart to watch your back.”

“No offense Kai, but who the hell would actually be stupid enough to come after me? It’s pretty well known who I am.” He was the son of Kylo Ren, nobody was stupid enough to mess with that. He had a pedigree that gave people nightmares.

Kai glared up at him, blinking exactly once. “Why would I be offended by that?”

“Well… because… you were one of those idiots who actually thought they stood a chance at taking me out once.”

“Did you forget I won?”

“You didn’t win. If you won, I’d be dead.”

Rightfully, Kai could have won. Milo knew this. It was just too damn fun to watch his reactions when Milo brought the subject up.

“No, I won. I easily could have killed you.”

“Eh… You cheated.”

He glared up at him silently for a moment. “I shouldn’t have come here to warn you.”

Milo grinned at him. “Hey now, I know deep down you really like me. How big was the payout on this one? I’m curious.”

“Big enough that I may have actually considered it for a moment.”

“Aw… how much?”

“70,000 credits.”

He was flattered. That was the biggest one he’d heard of yet.

“I’ve been wondering what you could have done to piss someone off that badly, but I suppose it’s stupid to ask. It’s an open bounty, that sort of price tag will attract attention. I’ve floated my name attached to it so hopefully that will deter a few people, but you should watch your back.” With that Kai turned to leave.

“Hey… wait.” He strode through the ship, following after Kai to the exit. “I’ve only seen you once in the past five or six months…”

“And?”

“… And… I mean, come on. Don’t leave so soon…” He wasn’t desperate, by any means. But it really had been way too long. He wanted to touch him again, to run his hands through his hair and bite his ribs and…

This was Kai’s game, every time. Kai didn’t chase, he _allowed_ Milo chase him. He wanted him begging, fawning over him, before he’d give him any bit of relief.

Secretly, Milo liked the game.

 

**

 

In the end, Milo played along and Kai got what he was pretending he didn’t want and Milo got what he’d been hoping for the second he found Kai in his ship. Kai stood from the bed and dressed – he was done. Milo didn’t. He was done as well, but what did he need clothes for?

Kai was particular about everything, but he was especially particular about what he wore. Solid black, all the time. Industrial boots that hit mid-calf on him, with pants tucked into them that had all sorts of straps and pockets that he insisted served a practical purpose (Milo had investigated and found the majority of the pockets empty most of the time). His top was a little too long to be a shirt and a little too short to be a tunic. Milo theorized it was a shirt on normal sized people and a tunic on bite-sized Kai.

Kai was not happy when Milo told him this theory.

And he always wore some sort of jacket. Sometimes it was leather, sometimes it was something else, sometimes it was short, sometimes it was long. Sometimes it had a hood, sometimes he wore a scarf thing with it, and sometimes it was a cape. Whatever it was, it always had a high collar to partially obscure his face, and had more pockets and straps, most of which were empty.

Milo had once scuffed one of Kai’s boots and the man looked like he was going to murder him. It seemed the shoes were of particular importance. He was used to seeing Kai every 2-3 weeks, but after the scuff he disappeared for over a month.

He always looked like the sort of person most people wished they looked like, only shorter. Stylish, good looking, brooding, mysterious…

Milo sat upright, watching him tug his boots on.

“You look tired.”

Kai's eyes narrowed. He was annoyed by the sentiment. “What? Are you hinting you want me to spend the night with you?”

Milo snorted. That wasn’t the sort of relationship they had. Not that he would have minded if for some reason Kai did decide to stay.

“So… ” He smirked at Kai. “I’m worth more than 70,000 credits to you?”

“Unfortunately for my investments, I’m not terribly interested in killing you.”

“That’s nearly sweet of you, Kai.”

“Not that it would be a problem to off you. You would be easy to take care of. I’m slightly more concerned about your father hunting me down afterward.” He paused. “You’re not taking this even remotely seriously, are you?”

“Of course I am.”

“It’s hard to believe you when you’re lounging about with your spent cock hanging out.”

Milo stood and walked to him, looming over Kai in a sort of domineering, protective way. Kai always preferred to be the one in control, but Milo strongly suspected he liked feeling small and protected from time to time, usually after they had sex.

“You really think they could find someone who could get to me, even for that kind of money?”

He huffed, pulling on his jacket, and put a hand on Milo’s chest to shove him away. “Quit being a cocky bastard and take this seriously. You’re going to get yourself killed one of these days.”

“Since when has that been a concern of yours?”

“It’s not, really, I just thought I’d do a friend a favor. I’ve been regretting it since I told you.”

This was a lie. Milo knew Kai was mildly concerned someone might get to him, because Kai liked sex. Particularly with Milo. Their “relationship” wasn’t really affectionate, and it was by no means exclusive. It was simple, physical, and for both of them, fun. Kai wouldn't risk losing something that just worked the way he wanted it to work without him having to put in much effort.

Milo decided not to press – he was a little tired and didn’t have the energy to keep pestering him.

“It’s been awhile since I last saw you.” He yawned. “You usually pop up at least every few weeks or so… it’s been months since I saw you last.”

“Do you want to start setting dates or something?” Kai looked at him flatly.

“Ha. No. It’s just unusual. Been busy?”

“Yeah.”

This was Kai’s way of telling him to stop asking questions. He yawned again, “You taking off?”

Kai looked at him like it was a stupid question, because it was a stupid question.

Milo messed up his pretty black hair. “Don’t be a stranger. Come see me sooner than five months down the road.”

Kai huffed, shaking his head as he left.

He watched him disappear, then realized Kai forgot his comlink — it was sitting on the floor next to the bed. He wasn’t sure why Kai even owned one, he never talked to anyone unless he absolutely had to. Milo grabbed the device and pulled his pants on, going after him, “Hey! Kai!”

Kai had stopped in the doorway of the ship.

It took Milo months to realize this fascinating behaviorism, but any time Kai did something he was completely, fully invested in that one thing, to the point of near perfection. It wasn’t just with big things, like fighting or fucking. It was with literally everything he did. For instance: standing still.

He stood in the doorway, looking out, completely motionless.

His hand rested over the small blade strapped to his hip, poised and ready to strike.


	2. The First Conversation

_Milo is relaxing on the couch with a few drinks and… Thera? Thea? What was her name again? And on that note, what’s her friend’s name again? He’s just started thinking of them as yellow hair and red hair. Red hair is particularly fun, she’s a little less shy and a little more handsy. They’d coerced him into a private room in the back of the club. He’s very okay with the direction this evening is taking._

_And then this short, black haired man just walks right into their private room._

_Milo blinks at the intruder a few times, dizzy from the mix of alcohol and arousal. The guy standing before them looks vaguely familiar… oh. Wait. It’s the bounty hunter who he wiped the floor with a few days ago._

_What an odd place for a second assassination attempt. Evidently the man isn’t so smart – he didn’t learn his lesson the first time. To his credit, the first try had been a valiant effort, despite the fact that he wasn’t able to get close enough to land a blow on Milo before he Force threw him through a wall._

_Milo scratches his nose, “Oh hey. It’s you again.”_

_The man steps to the side of the door and motions, “Will you two excuse us?”_

_“Who the hell are you?” Red hair asks, clearly offended by the prospect of being booted out of her fun evening by the short guy. She’s spicy. Milo likes that._

_“We need to have a private conversation. Leave.”_

_Milo is curious about him. Showing up a second time, especially in this environment… He’s strange. Brave. Or maybe stupid, he’s not quite sure which yet. He nods to the two women. “Go. But… wait up.” He calls after them as they leave, tutting with disappointment. “I’ll come find you two later!”_

_The short guy closes the door sharply behind them._

_“So is this another attempt on my life?”_

_“No.”_

_“Mm.” Milo takes a drink from his bottled beer, motioning for the short one to sit, “Never had a hit on a Force user before, hm?”_

_“No, you are the first,” he says, but doesn’t sit. “You don’t live up to your lineage.”_

_Milo frowns, “What do you mean by that?”_

_“In terms of cruelty.”_

_“Oh… yeah. Well. There wasn’t any point in killing you. You just needed to learn not to mess with Force users.”_

_The man is still standing, arms crossed._

_“What’s your name?”_

_“Why would you need to know that?”_

_“Oh, come on. You know my name. And therefore my entire family history, probably. What could I do with your name?”_

_He looks at him with narrow, dark eyes for a moment. Milo gets a vague feeling that the man might be trying to read his mind. “It’s Kai.”_

_“Kai. Well, it’s good to meet you. On better terms than last time as well. So what are you here for? Light conversation? Or did you just plan on ruining my night?”_

_With an air of carelessness, he grabs a chair and takes a seat, kicking his feet up onto the table. He’s careless, but careful. It’s a controlled, calculated movement, but he clearly doesn’t care how offensive it is._

_There’s something innately fascinating about this guy. Milo can’t quite place it. It’s everything. His hair, his clothes, the way he moves, the way he never really says much. He wants to know: why is he here?_

_“Did you really just kick those two out to sit here and chat with me?”_

_Kai blinks at him a few times, not answering._

_“Did you see that redhead? You better have a damn good reason you kicked her out.”_

_Kai is quiet for a moment, then grabs Milo’s half-drunk beer from the table and sips on it. Milo is further fascinated by the gesture. Is he just trying to piss Milo off? He’s going to have to try much, much harder than that. “Do you think you could have beaten me without the Force?”_

_Milo laughs. “Okay. I see. You’re bitter that you lost so terribly.”_

_“No. I’m curious.”_

_“I can’t answer that.”_

_Kai blinks at him. He frowns. He’s very unhappy with the lack of a real answer._

_Milo sighs. This is such a complicated thing to explain to someone. “It’s like… It’s like if I asked you if you’d be an effective fighter if you couldn’t see. Right now, if you lost your vision, yeah, you’d be less effective. But if you never had it in the first place… everything would be different. You would have done everything in your life differently, you would have learned to fight differently, and you would be an entirely different person. So, no, there really isn’t any real answer to that.”_

_He nods slowly, taking another drink, the neck of the bottle pressed to his lips for a little longer than normal._

_“So… seriously man? This is what you wanted to talk about? I was going to get laid tonight…”_

_His expression doesn’t change even slightly. “That doesn’t have to change.”_

_A heavy silence hangs between them for a moment, while Milo’s mind tries to catch up to the suggestion. “Oh… Oh. I see.” He’s not opposed to the idea. He’s never been partial to a certain gender, and the man is certainly attractive…_

_Kai blinks at him. He puts the beer back on the table, evidently satisfied with the few uninvited sips, and doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t move closer to Milo, he doesn’t say anything… nothing._

_“You aren’t nearly as proactive about this as the redhead.”_

_“Mm. I don’t throw myself at people.”_

_Milo is confused. He tries to map the path out on the table with his hands. “So… if you want to have sex… You have to get from point a – where we are now - to point b, right?”_

_“I’m familiar with the process.”_

_“Are you? Because you’re really not trying to get to point b right now.”_

_“You’re under the wrong impression. Right now I’m just trying to assess if point b is even worth my time.”_

_“Wait… so you came in here to tell me that you want me to seduce you?”_

_“Mm. Yes.” He says it like it’s obvious, like nothing about the request is strange._

_“Confident little bastard, aren’t you?”_

_He doesn’t reply, but he frowns. He must not like being called little._

_“I’d rather have the redhead.” Milo says._

_“No you wouldn’t.”_

_Maybe he can read minds? Admittedly, Kai seems much more fun than the redhead in his own weird way._

_Milo downs whatever little beer Kai left for him in the bottle. “Okay. You strike me as someone who might be fun. Still, you’re asking me to chase you. That’s not how this works.”_

_“Would you rather I hang all over you like the redhead?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Another silence. Kai does not seem impressed, or even very interested. “That’s not how I do things.”_

_Milo runs his fingers through his hair and smirks at Kai. The hair thing is his move. It always works. “Come on man, give me something here…”_

_Kai looks utterly bored. “That’s what I intend to do.”_

_He bites his lip. Fuck, that’s a good line. He’s going to save it for personal use. “So what is this? Some sort of psychological game where you get to dominate someone who you couldn’t even touch two days ago?”_

_His flat line of a mouth turns to a frown. He's done it -- he pushed him over the edge, finally. Kai stands and steps to Milo, and puts a hand on his chest, pushing him back. His head spins a little as Kai crawls into his lap, straddling Milo’s thighs between his own. His fingers run over Milo’s collar bone and Milo moves in to taste his lips._

_He jerks his head to the side, leaving Milo’s lips to catch on the crook of his jaw._

_“What do you think this is? A date? Don’t kiss me.”_

_Milo can’t help but laugh at the comment – Kai sounds so genuinely offended. He runs his tongue over the spot at the crook of his jaw and wraps his arms around Kai’s thighs, pulling him closer. “You’re really weird, you know that?”_

_Kai’s hand presses into his already hard cock. “Shut up.” He buries his face in Milo’s neck and bites a little harder than he needs to._

_“Fuck…” Milo’s head feels light. The drink is really getting to him, and the way Kai is pressing into him isn’t helping. He makes a very deliberate, small Force pull on Kai, scooting him closer. Just enough to surprise him a little._

_“It’s good for more than fighting," he teases._

_Kai pauses for a moment, trying to erase the shock off his face. “Interesting.”_

_He moves his mouth back to Milo’s neck and he can feel him grinning, just a little. He liked the Force pull more than he’s willing to admit. His fingers grip the collar of Milo’s shirt and he shoves him flat onto the cushioned seat, and starts tugging at his shirt, biting his skin and pressing into him with a sort of enthusiasm that completely betrays how unimpressed he’s been trying to act. Milo bucks against him, his thoughts swimming and swirling. They swirl a little too much._

_His vision is splotchy._

_“Oh. Fuck.” He can’t really stop another instinctive grind against the pressure of Kai’s hand. “You drugged me didn’t you?”_

_“Mm.” He can feel Kai’s warm breath against his neck. “You know what your problem is? You think with your cock rather than your head.”_

_Milo’s vision is nearly gone. “Well. Fuck.” So attempt #2 at his life will be successful. Well played, attractive little bastard._

_For some reason the man is still palming his cock._

_**_

_Milo is surprised when he wakes up. By that, he’s surprised that he wakes up at all. Legitimately, he really thought he’d die there on the seat with Kai on top of him. He was sure the guy meant to kill him._

_A janitor is cleaning around him. The older man looks at him. “Good time last night?”_

_“Mmph.” His mouth still feels numb, his head is still swimming a little. He stands slowly. There’s no pain. Nothing happened. Kai just… knocked him out and left. Like he wanted to prove a point._

_Milo leaves the deserted club and walks back to his ship. He peels off his stale clothing and stumbles into the bathroom. His reflection catches his eye._

_There’s a red mark on his neck, close to his collarbone. He leans in to get a closer look and touches the spot._

_It’s a bite mark._

_Kai left him a reminder._


	3. Chapter 3

Milo’s shirt, thankfully, never made it to the bedroom — it’d been flung off to the side. He grabbed it and pulled it on, stepping toward the door to try and get a better view of what Kai was looking at without revealing his presence to whoever was outside.

It was a woman, somewhere in her 30’s with dark hair and a dangerous air about her. She was armed, her hand on the weapon at her hip. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” She said to him.

Kai didn’t respond, and he didn’t move.

She was shockingly quick, springing forward toward him and drawing her weapon. Luckily, Kai wasn’t just quick, he was efficient. He dodged to the side, just in time for Milo to send a supply crate sailing through the door and straight into her.

He walked past Kai to the exit, and stepped out onto the ground with bare feet. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Milo, you moron…” Kai barely had time to get a warning out before Milo felt it behind him: a tug in the Force, cold, brutal… “MOVE!”

He didn’t even have time to turn — he heard the familiar sound of a lightsaber behind him, then commotion. Kai barged into his back, forcing him away. They clattered to the side. Milo got to his feet quickly. Kai’s weapon of choice had always been this rather unique rope dart. He’d never seen anyone else use something like it, but Kai was highly effective with it. The rope laid strewn across the ground, the end wound around a long staff. Milo recognized the end of the staff — it was the build of a lightsaber. A lightsaber pike. He’d never actually seen one before.

The owner of the pike stood atop his ship, frowning down at them. Kai drew his dart back in before the attacker leapt to the ground and retrieved his pike.

When he stood on even ground with them, Milo felt his mouth go dry. He was never really intimidated by people, but this guy… Milo felt justified in making an exception for him. A heavily armored Togruta, he towered over Milo nearly a head without taking into account his horns. And he had a lightsaber weapon. Was he a Force user? No, he couldn’t have been… Milo had only met a handful of other Force users in his life. He must have stolen it from someone.

As if he could read Milo’s thoughts and wanted to be funny, he put a hand out to the side and Force threw the crate away from the woman. Milo’s stomach sank. As if the guy wasn’t already intimidating enough, he was a Force user.

The woman stood, brushing herself off and looking upset. That’s when he noticed it — she had a lightsaber as well.

“It appears we may have to take out your friend here as well.” They both took position with their weapons.

Milo couldn’t remember the number of assassination attempts he’d staved off over the past few years. This happened from time to time. But he’d certainly never had a Force user come after him, much less two at the same time.

The woman nodded to the Togruta, “You take out the tall one."

Milo huffed. “What? Why do I get stuck with the mean one?”

The woman looked irritated. “Because I don’t care if he kills you.” She glanced to Kai, “But you, we need alive. For awhile at least.”

Evidently the Togruta had very little patience for conversation — he attacked. Of course, Milo’s lightsaber was sitting somewhere on the ship. It probably rolled under his bed when he and Kai were getting down to business.

The woman went after Kai, who did his best to dodge her blows. He could barely keep up with her. Granted, Milo wasn’t doing much better with the massive Togruta — not only was he strong as hell, but his height and weapon choice gave him a massive advantage in reach. He wondered, momentarily, if this was what it felt like to fight a giant. He made a mental note to ask Kai later.

They were outmatched. He knew that, and no doubt Kai did as well. Their only real hope was to run away. Ironic that Kai would show up at his ship to chastise him for pissing people off when clearly Kai had done something to piss off someone very powerful. Finding two Force users to capture someone for you would not be cheap.

No doubt, Kai would refuse Milo’s help in getting this mess sorted out. But he would need it. Milo would just stick around until Kai caved and accepted his help.

He sidestepped a blow from the Togruta and leaped back onto the crate he’d thrown at the woman earlier, just in time to hear the woman yelp — she’d been keeping close range to Kai so that his rope dart was ineffective, but he’d found a way to utilize it nonetheless. He’d somehow managed to get it wrapped around her weapon, and leaped back just enough to jerk it away from her, so the lightsaber popped out of her hands and into his.

Milo let himself have a fraction of a second to appreciate Kai’s ingenuity, but Kai didn’t hesitate — he didn’t even untangle the weapon, rather he turned the blade on and made an aggressive swipe at her. She tried to dodge, but the blow struck her side and sent her toppling to the ground.

Fuck, he was good.

Even the Togruta had taken notice. At least, Milo was under the impression he had noticed and was also admiring until he threw his hand out to the side and sent Kai hurling into the side of Milo’s ship. He stuck hard enough Milo swore he saw the ship shake, and crumpled to the ground, a heap of unconsciousness.

“Hey!” He was about to go after the Togruta, when he realized the man had his attention focused on the woman, checking to see how severe her injury was. He was distracted. This was their chance.

He leapt over and grabbed Kai, dragging him into the ship closing the door quickly. Luckily, he was pretty skilled with flying. He made his way to the cockpit and powered the ship up, and launched the ship deep into space so quickly they couldn’t be tracked. He thought of Kai, sprawled on the floor of the ship, and hoped the sharp take off hadn’t thrown him around too much.

“What the hell are you doing?” Kai’s grunt was something of a relief.

“Getting us the fuck out of there. I’m glad you’re okay.”

Kai sank into the copilot’s chair with a pained wince and glared at him. He wasn’t okay — it was obvious he was in pain. But he was alive. He huffed roughly, “Turn around, I need to go back.”

“Go back? Why the hell would I go back? Are you hurt?”

He tried to keep up the facade, but his breath came in short little gasps. “I’m fine. Turn this damn ship around and…”

“You’re not going back, I’m getting us away from those two and then we can argue about what to do next.”

Thankfully, Kai fell silent. Milo kept focused on piloting the ship somewhere safe. After awhile, Kai stood and went to the back of the ship.

He wasn’t sure when it happened, or why, but at some point in all the years of knowing Kai and screwing around with him, Milo had found himself with some sort of… attachment. Not an emotional attachment, they never allowed that into their relationship. A Force attachment. It was strange, the only other people he had one with was his mother and father. Why he’d have another with Kai was beyond him.

He’d only felt it once before, but he could feel it creeping back as Kai hid in the back of the ship. Dark, cold, painful…

“Kai!” He called out to him, hoping desperately for Kai to give him some sort of angry reply. Nothing came. The feeling worsened — he felt like he was sinking.

Kai needed help, and he needed it fast. They couldn’t return to the planet they were on. He wasn’t terribly familiar with this area of the galaxy, he didn’t know anyone living around here who could help… He cursed and opened his com system, reaching out to the only person he knew who absolutely would have connections in the area, because they had connections everywhere.

His mother.

Her face popped up on the holo. “Milo? I have not heard from you in weeks…” She spoke in her native language, a language extinct to most of the galaxy. He suspected that he and his mother might be the only two left who still used it.

“Sorry, sorry, I don’t have time. I have an emergency.”

She frowned. “You ignore me for weeks and then only call me when you have an emergency?”

“Mom, I’m sorry…” He tried not to hiss at her, but this really was urgent. “I have a friend, he needs medical attention now. Like right now.”

She still didn’t look happy. He’d hear more about this later. “Send me your coordinates.”

He pushed them through to her in a message.

She tutted. “I do not know many people in that area… Oh. Wait. I think Iz and Cerys are around there…”

“Who?”

“Oh, I suppose you do not know them. Iz was…”

“Is one of them a doctor?”

“Yes.”

“Send me coordinates, thanks.” He was about to cut the transmission off, because he could feel Kai slipping so fast it was making him nauseous, but realized that would not go over well with his mother. “I’ll call you back as soon as I’ve landed, I need to hurry.”

He cut off the transmission, and the coordinates came over quickly, along with a message: I’ll let them know you’re coming.

Luckily, the coordinates for the planet weren’t far away at all. Thirty minutes or so. He took off in the right direction.

“Kai!” He thought he’d try again, just to give himself some peace of mind. It didn’t work, Kai still didn’t respond.

The feeling was awful, like he was being sucked into some endless, cold black hole. He was afraid. Kai was afraid. They were so close to help, he just needed to hang on…

And then Milo felt something that absolutely terrified to the core: weakness. Kai was never weak.

Ten minutes to land; he could see the planet. He switched the ship to autopilot, because at this stage it wouldn’t make a difference in their timing, and went back to Kai. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing strangely.

“Hey… Kai…” He knelt down next to him and put a hand on his arm. “Kai…”

Kai tried to push his hands away, mumbling something Milo couldn’t quite understand. He tried to get to his feet, but was clearly too weak.

Milo put a hand on his shoulder to stop him from moving. “Kai. Stop. Listen to me. What’s wrong?”

Kai looked at him with a hardened expression, “We need to go back.”

Milo could barely understand him when he said it. Kai’s accent, usually subtle and near unreadable, was very thick. Under normal circumstances, Milo would have loved to tease him about it. But a more immediate issue had his attention: Kai’s lips were turning blue.

“Kai… calm down, try to slow your breathing. We can’t go back now…”

Kai jerked on his shirt weakly – Milo rolled with it and moved closer to him. He looked so hurt, so weak, Milo would have done anything he needed. His eyes were unfocused, his breath catching in a painful, audible fashion. “Go back.”

“Kai, we can’t go back now, you need to see a medic. We’re just about to one, I need you to hang on…”

Kai huffed, somehow still capable of being annoyed when he was looking death in the face. “No. You go.”

“I’m not going to leave you in this condition.” He said it more to reassure himself that Kai would actually hang on until they landed.

He wasn’t certain Kai heard him. He could barely hold his head up.

It was odd, seeing him like this. Kai was never weak. Even when Milo threw him through a wall to halt his assassination attempt when they first met, the man always kept an infallible façade. Milo touched his face. Was this really the same person?

He half expected Kai to punch him for affectionate touch – it really wasn’t how their relationship worked. Kai had never been fond of affection. It spoke something to how injured he was that he didn’t make any reaction at all. If anything, he let his head rest a little in Milo’s hand.

“Kai, I’m not leaving you like this. What do you want me to go back for?”

He wheezed a few times. “My ship… go to my ship… don’t leave her…”

His ship. Of course. If Kai ever showed affection for anything, other than his shoes, it was his ship. A custom built stealth ship – the thing was nothing short of art. Milo had always wanted to fly it, but Kai wouldn’t let him touch it.

“Okay. Okay. We’ll get you to a medic and then I’ll go get your ship.”

He grunted a little and his head fell forward, resting against Milo’s.

Milo found himself running his thumb over Kai’s cheekbone. “Kai… hang on. You’re going to be okay, just hang on, okay?”

The look in Kai’s eyes didn’t inspire much faith. He was fading fast.

“Come on. I’m not going to leave you. You can’t leave me. It’s been two fucking years, Kai. This doesn’t end now. Not like this.”

His skin was really cold. Too cold. It worried him. Kai’s expression worried him. Everything about this worried him.

“Please don’t Kai.” He said quietly. “Please… we’re not done. I need you to stay. I’m going to take care of this… of you. I’ll get you to a medic.”

The most heinous part of being Force sensitive, he always thought, was the ability to feel someone’s life force failing. It crushed him, every time. Especially at this point, right before it happens, when the line starts to go lax.

He kissed Kai, on the lips, for the first time in two years.

Kai seemed to react. His eyes were heavy, barely open, and his breathing was weak and uneven. He spoke, very quietly. “Take care of her… please…”

Milo knew the ship meant something to Kai as he was more protective of it than anything else, but he had no idea it was this important. He nodded, running a finger over Kai’s lips. He wished he would have kissed them sooner. Years sooner. “Whatever you want. I’ll take care of it. I promise.”

It was only a few more moments before he was gone.


	4. The Scar

_Milo is standing over the control panel of his ship the first time he feels the connection. He’s looking out into the inky black space, not really doing anything, not really thinking about anything. He’s just being. Feeling the Force. He does this sometimes, when nobody is around._

_Maybe that’s why it hurts so terribly when it hits. He has to lean on the control panel, his chest tightening. What is this? Something in the Force isn’t right. It’s not his mother. It’s not his father._

_He feels like he’s sinking into a void — a cold, bottomless pit. He falls into the pilot’s seat, trying to shake it off, to distance himself from the feeling, but it’s too strong._

_It takes too long, but eventually it goes away, and everything is right with the Force again._

_He contacts his mother, just to make sure she’s okay._

_**_

_Kai sits on his bed. He broke into Milo’s ship somehow, again. There was a time that he was surprised to return to his ship and find Kai there. That doesn’t happen any more. Kai shows up when he pleases, for one purpose only._

_He doesn’t talk. He just slides back on the bed and nods at Milo. He doesn’t play games, he doesn’t act coy, but he does give commands. Milo is happy to oblige. He hasn’t seen him in a few weeks._

_He crawls onto him, peeling his own shirt off and burying his face into Kai’s neck, careful to avoid his face. He never wants Milo’s lips near his face._

_He smells clean, like he always does. The skin contact is exciting, he wants more. His hands work up Kai’s shirt and he peels it off, pushing him further onto the bed. Kai’s breathing grows quicker as he pushes him flat onto the bed, kissing and nipping over his fresh, bare skin, across his collar and down his chest. He tries to feel all of his skin, gripping his ribs, pulling him closer._

_Something on the left makes him pause. He can feel it under his fingertips, beneath his lips. He draws back._

_A massive scar runs from his side back, at about chest level, all the way down his ribcage, crossing over to his front. It’s glaringly pink, fresh._

_“Kai… what the hell happened to you?”_

_Milo can feel the sigh deep in Kai’s ribs as he still holds onto them. “I’m fine.” He says flatly._

_He lets his fingers trace over the scar. He might be fine, but there’s no way he was fine when this happened. It’s deep, so deep a bacta patch must have had trouble healing it._

_He can feel the familiar pull as he traces it gently with his fingers. The Force, tugging at his mind, at his soul…_

_Kai huffs and pulls away, reaching for his shirt. “I don’t need you to get sentimental with me.”_

_“What happened?” He asks again._

_“A job. Things happen. I’m fine.” He turns._

_“But… wait. Don’t go yet.”_

_“I don’t…” Kai sneers, stops short. He hisses when he speaks. “I don’t want to talk about it.”_

_Milo grabs his waist and pulls him back, and Kai pretends not to like it. It’s okay. They don’t need to talk about it._

_Milo can feel it, all the way in his bones, to the core of his being while they fuck. He keeps a hand over the scar, like he might be able to help heal it. He can’t, he’s never had a knack for Force healing, but maybe it will make Kai feel better, like a little reminder that someone is concerned with his wellbeing. Kai’s energy builds, his want builds, it piques, and then evens, back to calm, to normal, blending with the rest of the Force, becoming invisible to Milo again._

_This wasn’t supposed to be personal. It wasn’t supposed to be sentimental. Kai didn’t want it that way and neither did Milo. He never wanted the connection. He never asked for it._

_So why was it there?_


	5. Chapter 5

Milo felt the ship bump as it landed, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Thankfully the ship had auto landing abilities, he couldn’t bring himself to move from Kai’s side. He just crouched there, holding him and sobbing. How could this hurt so much?

He felt the breeze as the door opened. There was a hand on his shoulder. Pulling him away. Somebody was saying something. The hand pulled harder, hard enough to jerk him back, away from Kai. It pulled him back to reality a little bit — he could finally hear what was going on.

There were two men, an older one with his hands all over Kai, who was laid out on the ground, and a much younger one who was shaking him. “Hey. Hey, can you hear me?”

He could, but he couldn’t find the words to respond. He nodded, unable to take his eyes of Kai.

“Ask him if he knows what’s wrong with him.” The man next to Kai had a bag of some sort, with what looked like medical supplies. It was to late.

Milo shook his head, barely able to utter the words: “He’s gone. He’s…”

“What’s wrong with him?” The young one insisted. “Tell us what’s wrong.”

It was wasted effort. His life Force was gone. It hung inside Milo, like a massive, gaping vacuum. “He was having trouble breathing… I couldn’t… I couldn’t help him… I should have flown faster… I should have…”

“Get him out of here, Pan.” The older one said.

He actually appreciated the order. He needed to get outside. He couldn’t breathe in here, looking at Kai sprawled on the floor…

Pan, the young one, grabbed his arm and pulled on him gently, “Come on…”

He felt like he was dead. Part of him was dead. He stumbled out the door of his ship and sank down to the ground, trying to get a full breath of fresh air.

Pan kept a hand on his back, “Breathe. You’re okay. Focus on breathing.”

He tried, he really did, but the void in his chest was so incredibly painful. Kai was gone. It was his fault. He should have fought harder to keep him safe. Why had he waited so long to kiss him? He should have just kissed him, even when Kai pushed him away, he should have done it just once to convince him it was fine. He should have told him about the bond, about the strange attachment. He should have told him about how he felt the wound in his side when it happened, and he should have kissed the scar more the first time he saw it…

Like a switch was flipped, the void in his chest was suddenly full again. It happened so suddenly he gasped. It took him a moment to wrap his thoughts around what was happening.

It was Kai. He was back.

He jumped to his feet and scrambled back onto the ship. Kai was still on the floor, but he was moving. Coughing. Hacking up blood.

Milo could barely believe what he was seeing. He could barely push the word out of his mouth: “Kai?”

The older man was still next to him on the floor, with a hand on him to steady the violent coughing. “He’s okay. He just has some blood in his lungs.”

Kai stopped coughing and went limp, completely unconscious. Milo went to him. He was breathing. And his lips weren’t blue anymore. The front of his shirt was ripped open, and a small tube stuck out. Milo found himself touching Kai’s face gently, running his thumb over his cheekbone.

“He’s… okay?”

“Yeah, he’s going to be just fine. We need to move him inside, we’ve got a spare bed we can give to him. He’s going to need to rest for awhile, but he’ll make a full recovery.”

“What… how… he was gone…” He looked at the man. Did he not understand? “He was gone.”

He gave a very friendly, crooked smile. “He was, but just barely. You made good time, there was just enough of him left for me to save him.”

Milo wondered if his mouth was hanging open. It probably was. “Thank you.”

He shook his head, “Nah, no problem.” He held a hand out, “My name is Iz, by the way. You probably don’t remember me, the last time we saw each other you were barely walking.”

“I… I don’t remember you. Sorry.”

He nodded to the door, “Pan, can you help me move him inside?”

The younger man nodded and stepped back into the ship.

“No. No, I can move him…” It was like some strange compulsion. He didn’t want anyone else touching Kai for just a little bit.

Iz looked at him for a moment, then laughed. “Right… that’s fine. Just be really careful, okay?”

Iz lead them into his home, up a flight of stairs to a small room with a bed. Milo laid Kai down gently and looked at him. It looked like he was just sleeping.

“I need to clean him up a little,” Iz said, moving his bag full of tools onto a small table next to the bed. “You’re welcome to stick around, I might need a little help.”

“You’re sure he’s going to be okay?”

“Yes. Yes, he’s going to be just fine.” There was a chair in the corner of the room. He moved it next to the bed. “Why don’t you sit down?”

He sank into the seat, nodding. He couldn’t take his eyes of Kai.

“Pan, can you get me a wet cloth?”

The kid disappeared into the house.

Iz didn’t say much else while he worked. He used a few pillows to elevate the upper portion of his body, and asked Milo to take Kai’s shirt off so he could give him a few painkiller injections. He cleaned the blood from around his mouth and adjusted the tube in a way that Milo didn’t like — it made him cringe. He hooked the tube to some sort of device, and told Milo he would likely remove it the following day.

When he finished, he looked at Milo. “See? He’s just fine now.”

“Yeah. Yeah, thank you.”

“How are you? You’re uninjured?”

“Yeah.” It was sort of a lie, he’d taken a few blows from the towering Togruta, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle on his own. He’d just be bruised for awhile. Nothing like Kai’s injuries.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Iz nodded slowly, watching him. He stepped to the door, and closed it. “Before we get any further, I need to talk with you.” He paused, considering his words. “I don’t know how you two ended up in this situation. I understand that you’re frightened right now, and you’re probably completely drained and don’t have the energy to talk about it. But I need you to listen to me very carefully, and I need you to be completely honest with me: Are we safe here?”

Milo looked at the man for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so…”

He frowned a little and sniffed. “Okay, let me explain my situation fully, because I don’t like that answer. My wife and children are out in the nearby village right now. They’re coming home soon. I need to know with complete certainty: are they safe here? It’s okay if they aren’t. I can move them somewhere else. I’ll still help you and Kai. But I need to know.”

He thought back over everything, every step he’d taken during the encounter. “Yes. I took off from the planet too fast for them to follow. My ship has a cloaking device, it would scramble any signal from a tracker. You’re safe.”

Iz nodded, looking at Kai. “You’d be willing to bet his safety on that? Because he’s going to be in that bed for about a week. If someone comes here looking for you two, he’s defenseless.”

“Yes. Yes, there’s no way we’re being tracked.”

He let out a small sigh of relief. “Good. Very good.” He nodded, and clapped a hand on Milo’s shoulder. “I’ll leave you two for a little bit. Try to relax a little, I’ll move a cot in here so you can nap if you want to. Don’t move him, he’s going to be just fine. Just let him rest. If you need anything at all, we’ll be right downstairs.”

Milo remained next to Kai after he left. He felt so incredibly heavy, he couldn’t move from the chair. Sitting seemed like a good option, for a little bit. Kai needed him here, next to him.

He reached up to Kai’s face and ran his thumb over his lips. He needed to be here.

 

**

 

Milo wasn’t sure how long he sat and watched over Kai, but eventually the door opened again and Iz came in. He smiled. He seemed to do that a lot.

“Feeling any better?”

“He hasn’t moved at all, is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. His body is entirely focused on healing itself, moving isn’t high priority. Did you sleep at all?”

“What? No, no, I’m fine.”

He was quiet for a moment. “I know you’re pretty focused on him right now, but why don’t you come downstairs for a little bit? My wife and kids are home, they want to meet you. It’ll just be quick. And there’s food down there, so you can grab something to eat.”

“I…” He glanced to Kai. Should he leave?

“Kai will be fine, it’ll only take a few minutes. It’ll be okay.”

Reluctantly, he agreed. They moved to the lower level of the home.

The side of the house that faced the dock and the ocean had been opened up, letting a comforting breeze flow into the house. The sun was up when they landed, but it was evening out now. He hadn’t noticed how long he’d been in the room with Kai.

There were a lot of people downstairs — an orange-haired woman he assumed was Iz’s wife, two young kids, Pan, and another younger guy with dark hair and strange red eyes that Milo really didn’t like.

Iz clapped his shoulder, “Milo, this is my wife Cerys. The two little ones are ours, Brie and Oz.”

The woman stepped across the room to him quickly, her eyes huge. “Milo… Oh dear, you’ve really grown up. It’s so strange to see you this tall.”

Evidently he’d met this woman at some point in his youth? “Er… yeah.”

“I’m so happy your mother sent you our way, we’re glad to help you and your friend, of course.” She hugged him. He wasn’t sure why.

“Er… Thanks. I’m sorry, I wish I recognized either of you…”

She shook her head, “No, no. You were so young, and we’ve been out of touch. I grew up with your mother, she’s something of an aunt-figure to me.”

“Oh.”

“And your father trained Iz. At least, he did for awhile. Until you came into the picture.”

Trained Iz? “Er… my dad doesn’t know anything about medicine.”

Iz laughed. “No, no, Force training.”

“Oh.” How had he not picked up on that before? This man was Force sensitive? It made a lot more sense that he was so adept at healing Kai.

She patted his arm. “Well, you must be hungry. Why don’t you grab something to eat?” She motioned to the counter, and he realized she _must_ have grown up with his mother. She made food the exact same way, with lots of small dishes. There was even that odd fermented dish he had an affinity for; he’d never seen anyone other than his mother make it.

“You met Pan already, right?”

The younger man from earlier waved. “We didn’t get formally introduced. There was a lot happening.”

Milo was starting to feel like he’d missed a lot in the commotion after they landed. Like the fact that this Pan guy wasn’t human. He was Nagai. Strange, there weren’t many of them in this part of the galaxy. He couldn’t even remember last time he’d seen one. Another thing he’d missed: the guy had the same haircut as Iz, only his hair stuck straight up.

“Yeah. Good to meet you. Thanks for helping earlier.”

“And this is my brother, Aizeh.” Cerys walked over to the strange looking red-eyed guy. He had to have been 20 years younger than her, the age gap was jarring.

The guy bowed his head a little, “It’s good to meet you, Milo.” He had a strange voice, sort of monotone with an unnerving hum to it. Milo didn’t like it.

“Yeah. You too.”

Iz pushed on his shoulder, forcing him toward the table gently. “You should sit with us and talk for a little bit. It’ll help clear your head.”

He took a seat, only because these people seemed really kind and he felt very rude going back up to Kai right away.

“Where are you from?” Pan asked.

“Guraan, little Outer Rim planet. You’re from Nagi?”

He nodded, “Yeah.”

“What are you doing here? You’re a long way from home.”

He may have struck a nerve; Pan’s smile faltered a little. “I am. I’m going home soon.”

“Pan is here for some training with me before he returns home.” Iz added, nodding at him.

“Medical training?”

“Force training.” Pan corrected him.

“Really? You too? Are both the kids Force sensitive as well?”

Iz nodded.

“You’ve got a house full of them here…” He nodded to the red eyed one, wondering if he had some sort of eye infection or strange disease. “What about you?”

“No, I’m just here visiting family.”

“Should have guessed that. You didn’t strike me as a Force type.”

He tilted his head, frowning a little.

“Is your boyfriend Force sensitive?” Pan asked.

“Kai? Oh. He’s not my boyfriend.”

Across the table, both Iz and Pan gave him a funny look.

“But no, he’s not Force sensitive.”

“You seem pretty close to him.” Iz said.

“Nah. No. We’re just… friends.”

“… Right.” He looked like he was about to laugh. “Where did you meet him?”

_Well, there was this time he was trying to kill me…_ “Er… he was on a job.”

“What does he do?”

_Kills people._ “Um… He works in defense…” They seemed like such nice, normal people. There was no way he could explain this to them.

Iz still looked like he was going to laugh.

“I know you’ve probably got a lot on your mind,” Cerys said gently, “but you should reach out to your mother soon. She’s worried about you.”

He sighed a little, rubbing his face. He’d forgotten to reach back out to her. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that soon.” A thought struck him — something else he’d forgotten about. He dug his hands into his hair, pressing his palms into his temples. “Oh no. I forgot… I forgot…”

Cerys looked so genuinely concerned. “Is everything okay? You know we’re here to help you…”

This was worse than forgetting about his mother. “Kai’s ship. Before he… he asked me to go back and get his ship. He needs it here. It needs to be here when he wakes up…”

“His… ship?” Aizeh’s tone sounded so condescending he wanted to reach across the table and punch him. He resorted to a sharp glare.

“Yes, his ship. His ship is everything to him, it’s really, really important. It needs to be here. But I can’t…” He trailed off, looking back to the stairs. “What if he wakes up while I’m gone?”

“I don’t think…” Iz started.

“He doesn’t know you people, he’s going to be completely lost if I’m not here…”

“That’s not really…”

“I can’t leave him, it’d be too much for him if he woke up and I wasn’t here.”

“I have an idea…” Pan said slowly, looking at Iz like he needed approval. “It’s just a suggestion, but Aizeh and I could go get the ship and bring it back here. It’s not far, right?”

“Really? You’d do that? You’d easily be able to make it there and back in a day.”

Both Iz and Cerys frowned at Pan, like he’d said something wrong. “Aizeh can’t pilot and you aren’t supposed to fly, not when you’re getting these sporadic headaches we can’t predict.” Iz said.

“I can fly,” Aizeh corrected him. “It’s been awhile since I have, but I’m sure I’d pick up on it quickly.” He looked at Pan. “They’re right though, you can’t pilot anything when you’re getting unpredictable, crippling headaches. We’d be fine getting there because I could take over the controls if something happened, but splitting up to get home would be too much of a risk.”

The Nagai deflated a little. “I just had a headache a few days ago. They aren’t that frequent — I probably won’t get another one for a week or two.”

“You could take my ship.” Milo offered. This seemed like too good an opportunity to miss. “It has auto-piloting capabilities. So if you for some reason couldn’t control the ship that could handle everything for a little bit.”

He looked to Iz desperately. It was clear the kid really missed flying. Milo could identify with that, flying had always been a hobby of his, since he was a boy. He felt a little bad for Pan.

“I would like to see specifics.” Cerys said cautiously. “I want to know exactly where your friend’s ship is, and how exactly your auto-pilot program works, Milo. Iz and I can discuss what we think is best and let you know in the morning.”

After he’d eaten a little he gave Cerys and Iz more details about the location and his ship, then went back up to Kai. He was still out cold, but seemed to be doing okay. Iz came to the room checked and confirmed for Milo — Kai was fine. Milo reached out to his mother to let her know he was okay, and fell asleep in the chair next to Kai’s bed.

 

**

 

In the morning, everything went right. Iz checked on Kai again and confirmed he was still okay. He and Cerys announced that they were okay with Pan and Aizeh going to pick up Kai’s ship, under the condition that they were both extremely careful and throughly checked the ship for any tracking devices before returning. Milo went over the controls of his ship with Pan, who picked up on everything quickly. Aizeh watched as well, and acted like he understood. He was dreading the thought of allowing Aizeh to pilot Kai’s ship — Kai would never be okay with that. But it was what needed to be done to retrieve the ship.

In the evening, when they returned, everything started to go wrong.


	6. Getting Personal

_He only sees Kai a few times after the scar incident, before Kai just disappears for months on end with no word at all. They’d been screwing around for years, but since the scar appeared — since the bond appeared — everything was distinctly, drastically different. Suddenly every interaction became… intense. Passionate. Emotional. It took every fiber of his being to not be too affectionate, to not put his lips to Kai’s and beg him to stay longer, to visit more, to be more careful because the possibility of losing Kai was just unbearable._

_Milo thought only he could feel the change, like the whole thing was just in his head, but maybe Kai had picked up on it as well. Maybe Milo scared him away._

_He should have tried harder to hide it._

_And then, as though nothing at all changed, as though he hadn’t gone dark on Milo for months, Kai is sitting on the top of Milo’s ship when Milo returns to it one evening._

_“What are you doing up there?” Milo squinted at him, trying not to sound too excited when he spoke._

_“What do you think?” He jumps down from the top and stands next to Milo, looking up at him with a barely readable, familiar expression._

_Milo leads him him inside._

_**_

_Milo really tries to make it normal, but it’s the same thing again. Coupled with how long he’s been waiting for Kai’s return, it turns into a frenzied, almost desperate session that ends with him panting into Kai’s ribs, his lips pressed against the scar, hoping desperately that whatever just happened won’t scare him away again._

_He can’t tell. Can Kai feel how it’s changed?_

_In some act of mercy, Kai doesn’t leave the bed right away. He stays, tangled in the sheets with Milo, and lights a cigarette. Milo steals it from him, because he needs something to help him get back under control. His pulse is still high, his thoughts scattered._

_Kai snatches his cigarette back. “You have slow reflexes for a Force user.” Milo likes to hear him speak after sex. He’s tired, so he doesn’t hide his accent as well. He still can’t figure out where exactly the accent is from, but it’s fun to listen to._

_“I let you do that.” He wonders if Kai can tell he’s lying._

_“Right…”_

_“I did. I knew you were going to do it before you even moved your hand. It’s a Force thing.”_

_Kai looks at him with an expression of complete skepticism, because he’s too familiar with Milo’s banter. The look makes him want to pull Kai back under the covers._

_“You don’t believe in the Force?”_

_“I’ve seen you use it, I’d be a fool to not believe in it.”_

_Kai’s lips look too perfect as the cigarette rests between them lazily. Milo takes it back, because he doesn’t want to get caught staring, gaping like a fool at how damn pretty he is._

_Kai isn’t happy he took the cigarette. He huffs, and frowns. “So did you just pop out of the womb knowing how to throw things around with the Force?”_

_The question makes Milo pause. It’s the only question Kai has ever asked about his life before they met._

_“No. You have to learn. Back in the day there were schools. They don’t really exist anymore. There are far too few of us left.”_

_Milo feels like he might have entered another dimension; Kai asks more questions. He’s curious about it. How do you learn something like that? Do you just spar with people? Milo feels like he answers everything too quickly, like he’s too excited to talk about it._

_Kai takes the last bit of the cigarette, and Milo decides it might be fair for him to ask a few questions. He nods at him, trying to look inconspicuous, like he’s not too interested. “How did you learn what you know?”_

_“Hm?” He shrugs, looking bored. “Same as you. Practice.”_

_“Yeah, but who taught you? You’re good, you must have started learning when you were young.”_

_Kai frowns at the question, and doesn’t answer. Milo pushes his shoulder playfully. “Come on. I just told you stuff. You know who my father is already. I don’t know anything about you.”_

_“You don’t need to.”_

But I want to. _“I know but… come on. I bet your old man is like… one of those quiet, wise old man types.” He laughs at the mental picture of a wrinkled, old version of Kai._

_Kai looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”_

_And then he stands and dresses and leaves. Milo tries not to be sad. He wonders if he pushed too hard. He never should have pried._


	7. Chapter 7

The first thing that went wrong was Aizeh — the cocky bastard — stepping off his ship.

_His ship._ Aizeh wasn’t supposed to pilot his ship back. Pan was supposed to, because Pan needed a ship with auto-pilot capabilities. Also, he didn’t want Aizeh touching his ship.

Milo marched across the sand to the frowning, red-eyed brat and shoved him, “What the fuck, man? What are you doing in my ship?”

Aizeh shoved him back, which Milo wanted to laugh at. If he wanted to fight, he’d break his scrawny arms without much effort.

“Hey!” Iz stepped between them quickly, looking absolutely livid. “Knock it off, both of you.” He shot Aizeh a harsh glare, “Where is Pan?”

He made a jerking motion to the sky, where Kai’s dark ship was circling in for a landing.

“Great.” Iz made no effort whatsoever to hide the contempt in his tone. Milo didn’t blame him. They’d screwed this one simple thing up pretty badly. “Now _why_ is Pan in that ship and not in the ship with auto-pilot, like we discussed?”

Aizeh gave Iz an equally as contemptuous look. “The other ship does have an auto-pilot program, I had to install a crappy one while we were there so Pan could pilot it. Let’s talk about this idiot,” he motioned to Milo, “for a second before you chastise me for messing up when I actually made things work in a pretty messed up situation.” His glare turned to Milo. “What _exactly_ did your not-boyfriend tell you when he asked you to go get his ship?”

Milo frowned. “Well, he was a little short on breath, he didn’t have time to give a ton of details…”

“What _exactly_ did he say?” Aizeh spat, “What were the words he used? The exact words.”

“He just kept asking me to go back and get her…”

“Yes. Her. _Her_ wasn’t his damn ship.” He pointed violently to where Pan had landed the ship. It was a beautiful stealth ship with a sleek design. Pan hopped out, then turned and reached back in…

And pulled a little girl out of the ship. A little pink Twi’lek, who did not look happy about being taken off the ship.

_“Her_ is a kid. She was trapped on his ship alone until we showed up. You don’t know anything about this?”

“What? N… No.” What the hell was Kai doing with a kid?

“She was hiding in the cockpit, terrified out of her mind. It took us nearly an hour to convince her we weren’t there to hurt her.” He shook his head. “Her name is Maive, she claims Kai is her brother.”

“Brother?” He shook his head. “No way, Kai’s definitely not Twi’lek.”

Aizeh looked like he wanted Milo to start on fire. “No shit, he’s missing certain appendages. She won’t come anywhere near me, and she wouldn’t leave the ship. That’s why Pan had to take Kai’s ship back here. She tried to bite me a few times.”

“Sounds like a smart kid.” Milo remarked.

Aizeh looked like he wanted to do something about Milo’s comment, then threw his hands up and stormed away to the house.

 

 

**

 

The little girl was at the very least highly suspicious of all of them. She kept her jaw clamped shut, her knees locked as they practically drug her into the house. It wasn’t until Iz managed to get her into Kai’s room that she made any sort of reaction.

Which was: bursting into tears, clinging to Iz’s pant leg, and wailing, begging to know what was wrong with him. If Kai stood any chance of  waking up soon, all the noise she made would have certainly woken him.

Iz seemed to have some natural knack with kids. He knelt down next to her, “He’s okay. He got hurt, but I’m a doctor so I fixed him up. He’s just very tired now, he needs to sleep for a few days.”

She sniffled, making some high-pitched whiny noise.

“Do you want to stay here with him?”

She nodded, unable to take her eyes off him. “Yes. Please.”

 

**

 

The girl spent the rest of the day glued to the side of Kai’s bed, sitting in Milo’s chair.  Milo attempted to coax her out of it a few times, but completely failed and took to sitting on the floor.

Late in the evening, Iz managed to coax her away from Kai and into the main room to play with his children. Milo was relieved to finally get some time alone with him, but Iz insisted he join them downstairs for food. He caved and went for a quick bite. The kids barely ate, and took to running around on the dock, laughing and kicking around a ball.

“You really have no idea who she might be?” Iz asked.

Milo shook his head. “No. No idea.”

“You don’t think she might be his sister?” Pan asked.

“No. I mean Kai is clearly not Twi’lek, or part Twi’lek, and their ages are so far apart…” He trailed off when he saw Aizeh’s raised eyebrow. Cerys looked like she was about to start laughing. “… and I guess I can’t imagine Kai having family. He’s never mentioned anyone.”

“She clearly is very attached to him.” Iz said. “The poor girl must have been terrified, alone in that ship for an entire day. She seems like she’s about the same age as ours, I guess we lucked out that she can have some friends here.”

“Iz…” Aizeh pointed out to the dock, a curious look on his face. “Look.”

The three kids were Force-tossing the ball to each other. Including Maive.

Maive noticed them all looking and dropped the ball, hiding her hands behind her back.

“No way…” Iz stood and made his way over to her quickly, picking up the ball. “Where did you learn to do that?”

She bit her lip.

“Look…” He floats the ball between his hands, “I can do it too. So can Oz and Brie. And Milo and Pan can as well.”

Her golden eyes were huge. She kept her teeth clamped on her lip.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me about it. I learned it from my Master, a long… loooong time ago. Brie and Oz learned it from me.”

“Kai.” The word seemed to leak out of her, like she was afraid to admit it.

“Kai taught you?” He looked back to Milo questioningly. Milo felt as bewildered as the rest of them. “Can Kai do this too?”

She let out a snort of a laugh. “No.”

“So… how did he teach you?”

“I don’t think he knew what he was doing.”

Iz spun the ball between his fingers, looking at her curiously. “Yeah, I’m sure he didn’t.”

 


	8. The Turning Point

_What was it that changed? When was that precise moment, that certain event, that marked the turning point in their relationship. Was it the injury? The scar that marked his body like an angry reminder of all his flaws, his failures? Everything was so glaringly different immediately after. Every touch was so much more real, more vivid, more intense. He could still taste him hours after they would part. Sometimes he would wake up alone, with nothing but the scent of him lingering in his bed, and feel something so strong it made his chest hurt. It was agony, constantly being reminded of him. And the only relief from it came when they were together again._

_He tried to ignore it._ _He tried to hide it. But it wouldn’t go away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there will be a longer chapter up later today!


	9. Chapter 9

The ceiling came into focus slowly – exposed wooden beams that looked worn with age. He was comfortably warm, in a serene way.

He blinked a few times.

He wasn’t dead. How was he not dead? He remembered being so cold, and Milo… His mind stretched back, slowly grasping for the memories. Milo was concerned about him. Very concerned. He didn’t even know Milo was capable of feeling concern for others, but there was no doubt that was the expression on his face. He remembered Milo’s cheek, an ember of warmth, pressed against his as he quietly begged for Kai to hold on, to not leave him.

Did any of that actually happen? He and Milo weren’t like that… their relationship was strictly something easy, enjoyable. It wasn’t even really a “relationship”. It was just a thing that happened from time to time.

He remembered the kiss.

_The bastard._

He’d always admired Milo’s lips. They were a little crooked and not quite right for his face in the best way possible. But kissing… that was too much. That was completely over the line for how they had structured their “relationship”.

He pinched his eyes closed. _Focus_. Figure out what the fuck Milo was thinking with such a transgression later. Right now: _Where am I?_

He opened his eyes, letting his head roll to the side. He wasn’t sure he actually posessed the strength to turn his head.

 _The bastard_.

Milo was sitting at the edge of the bed.

He was asleep, an arm hanging limply at his side and head cocked back in what looked like an uncomfortable position. Evidently it wasn’t too terribly uncomfortable – he was fast asleep with his mouth hanging open a little. Kai was surprised he wasn’t drooling.

A small table sat next to the bed with some books and a lamp, and there was a large window with a view of a dock jutting out into a very large body of water. They sky was dark, but had that sort of pinkish tint it gets right before the sun rises. _It must be very early in the morning._

“Oh good, you’re finally awake.”

The voice made him jump enough to realize he couldn’t move his legs – he looked down and saw Maive, asleep with her arms hugging around his calves, her face buried in his knees. She made a disgruntled little noise at the movement, but didn’t wake up.

_Maive is here? With Milo?_

He looked to the voice – the man was in his 40’s, with dark eyes and a rather odd hairstyle shaved on the sides and very long in the middle. He smiled at Kai in an overtly friendly manner that made Kai somewhat suspicious of his motive. His teeth were very white.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to make you jump.” He nodded to Maive, “She’s been clinging to you like that since she got here.”

Kai tried to push himself upright, but intense pain shot up his side from his ribcage.

“Er… yeah, don’t do that.” The man put a hand on his shoulder and in an oddly friendly manner pushed him back down into bed. “You broke a couple ribs, I’ve managed to heal them for the most part, but you’re going to be sore for awhile. Take it easy.”

Kai shrugged his hand off, “Who are you?” He winced when he heard the words come out of his own mouth. He was exhausted, far too tired to cover up his accent like he usually did.

The man looked at him, clueless. “I’m sorry… what?”

He wanted to curse. It wasn’t like this fool could understand him if he did. He inhaled deeply and closes his eyes, focusing whatever little energy he had on churning out something that sounded more like standard basic. “Who. Are. You?”

He smiled again, far too friendly for Kai to trust. “Oh, my name is Iz. I’m a friend of Milo’s, a doctor by trade. He brought you here for help. You’ve been out for a few days.” He paused. “You have two people here who care about you a great deal.  They’ve both been here by your side since you got here.”

 _Fucking hell Milo that bastard…_ “Where the hell am I? How did you find Maive?”

Iz frowned a little, then pulled a chair next to the bed and took a seat, “You’ll have to forgive me, it has been a long time since I’ve been around any heavy accents.”

“Where am I?” He took his time to push the words out slowly.

“Ah, this is my home, on a planet called Noma.” Again, he paused. It was an irritating manner of speaking; Kai was growing tired of it. “We have a lot of questions for you.” He glanced to Maive, “Especially about her. But I imagine you’re probably not up for an interrogation at the moment.”

“Not really.”

Iz nodded, “Well, know that you’re safe here. Both of you. Maive has actually been having a great time playing with my kids when she’s not clinging to you.”

A snort came from his other side and Milo’s feet dropped off the bed, “Hm… oh… I fell asleep…” He rubbed his face, then noticed Kai. “Oh. You’re awake.”

“Yes.” A plethora of curses wanted to pour forth from him, but he stopped them. He didn’t have much energy anyway.

“I imagine you two want some time to speak,” Iz stood. “Would you like me to take Maive for awhile? She’ll probably wake up in a few hours and want to see you.”

He opened his mouth to say no, Maive could stay, but Milo beat him to it, “Yes. Please.”

Iz nodded and gently pulled the girl off his legs, carrying her out of the room and shutting the door behind him. Milo looked at him, like he wanted to say something.

Kai certainly wasn’t going to speak first.

“How do you feel?”

Against Iz’s advice, he pushed himself upright. It hurt.

Milo looked concerned.

“Not great.” He said shortly.

Milo blinked at him.

He inhaled deeply, speaking slowly and trying to keep his accent under control. “Not. Good.”

“I understood you the first time.”

“Well, you’re better with accents than the doctor is.”

Milo bit his bottom lip in a failed attempt to hide a grin, “I could tell you were hiding an accent but I didn’t know…”

“It takes more energy than I have to cover it up.” _This conversation needs to end now._

He snorted, “It’s actually kind of cute.”

He scowled at Milo. Cute. _Cute_. The bastard could go fuck himself it’s not like Kai’s about to do it again after a comment like that…

Milo looked like he was about to start laughing, but bit it back. He sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bed, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Enough with the sentimental crap…” He’s cut off by Milo digging a knuckle right into his sore ribs. He didn’t use much pressure, but Kai was in enough pain already that it knocked the air out of him, making him wheeze.

He expected Milo to have the usual lopsided grin on his face, but he actually looked… sad? “What… what were you thinking? Wandering off to the back of the ship by yourself when you were clearly injured and needed help…”

“I needed to think.” He managed to say.

“Did you want to die alone? While I was sitting right there?”

“Well I never entirely planned on dying.” He snipped. “Especially not in your arms, with you having some kind of emotional meltdown and whispering sentimental crap to me…”

Milo’s ears turned red, peeking out from under his hair. “You remember…”

“Yes, yes…” he hissed at him, holding his ribs. “Yes, I remember.”

“I didn’t think you would.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well… I mean, you died.”

“I didn’t die, I’m perfectly fine…”

“No. You died.”

He blinked at Milo. He looked completely serious.

“I felt it.”

If one thing was certain, it was that Milo was a terrible liar. He wasn’t lying about this.

“Iz zapped you back to life. I guess you broke a few ribs when you were thrown against that wall and they punctured your lung in a few places. That’s why you were struggling to breathe.” He reached out and poked Kai’s sternum, “He had to put a tube in you. See the scar?”

He looked down. There was, in fact, a fresh little scar on his chest.

“Anyway,” Milo continued with a dismissive tone, but his ears were still pink, “you didn’t seem to mind dying in my arms so much. Or anything of the things I said to you.”

“I suppose any comfort is welcome _when you’re about to die.”_

Milo looked at him quietly. “Liar. You liked the kiss.”

“Heh. What makes you think that?”

He sniffed, scratching his nose, and leaned in closer to Kai. His usual cocky demeanor. “You don’t remember much of the details, do you? You kissed me back.”

Kai played it back in his head. Milo’s hand on the back of his head, pulling him in, his warm, soft, crooked lips… _okay, they really weren’t so terrible._   Milo pulled back, leaving a small space of breath between them before going back in for another kiss. _Or did I do that? No. Milo did it._

“No.”

A crooked smile twitched onto his face, “Yeah.”

“No.”

Milo leaned in close again. Almost as close as he remembered them being. Kai pressed himself against the wall like he might be able to sink into it and escape.

“Tell me you don’t want this.”

“I don’t want this.” The words poured out faster than he intended. The issue wasn’t really the kiss. He actually wouldn’t mind the kiss. Milo has nice lips. The kiss would be okay if it were just a kiss, but kisses are _never_ just kisses, there was always baggage.

“Hm?”

“You can understand me perfectly well stop acting like an asshole…”

“Say it again.”

He blinked at him.

“If you really don’t  want it, you shouldn’t have any problem saying it again.”

_What the fuck kind of logic is this? Milo and his stupid half-assed mind games, always thinking he’s so clever when he’s more like some bumbling idiot who happened to get lucky enough to be born with some sort of Force connection… if it weren’t for that he’d be utterly hopeless in life…_

He realized he was biting his lips.

Milo laughed a little and brushed his lips against the corner of Kai’s mouth. “Come on, Kai. It’ll probably be _more_ enjoyable when you’re not dying.”

“You’re not cleve…” He mumbled the last word into Milo’s lips.

He braced himself to feel Milo’s smirk against his lips, but it didn’t come. Instead, Milo pulled back a little letting a warm breath rest between them, before going back in for another one, just as soft and gentle.

There was still no smirk on his face when he drew back, his eyes searching Kai’s like he wanted an answer. “Kai… why didn’t you mention the little girl? Who is she?”

This was the last fucking thing he wanted to talk about after the kiss. _Fucking bastard ruining everything…_ “I thought you Force users could read minds. You must be selectively talented or something, you had no idea about her the whole time…”

“I don’t read your mind because you don’t want me to.”

These uncharacteristic comments kept catching him off guard. Milo choosing to not do something out of respect for someone else’s desires? Unheard of.

“I tried a few times when we first met. You can tell when I’m in there, and you start putting walls up. The only way for me to find these things out would be to tear down the walls… which would hurt you. So I don’t.”

_Fucking poetic bullshit._

Milo kept running his fingers over Kai’s cheekbone. He pulled his face away from the touch, but Milo stopped him with another kiss. At some point Milo had crawled onto the bed and was sitting on his legs, his knees on either side of Kai’s hips. He wasn’t sure how that happened without him noticing.

Milo didn’t let the kiss go, or Kai’s face. He sort of… forced Kai to give in. He was trapped there, between Milo’s knees, backed against a wall, with his face held at just the right angle… so fuck it, he couldn’t really go anywhere. It wasn’t really giving in, it was more like Kai making the best of where he happened to be trapped.

He bit Milo’s lip to remind him of it.

He started to feel something, like a prodding on the front of his mind. Milo drew back just barely, staying close enough that Kai could feel his lips move against his when he spoke, “Let me in. Please. Please let me in. I want to know more about you, but you won’t just let me in. Please.”

He really wasn’t giving in.

Really.


	10. Malie // The First Encounter

_The body hits the floor in front of him with a wet thud. There’s something different about the sound a body makes when it drops after you cut the person’s throat. It’s distinctly wet sounding. He takes a step back to avoid getting any of the pooling red blood on his shoes. They’re were brand new, custom made. No way he’s letting something destroy these ones already._

_“Damn it, you beat me to him.”_

_The smoky, feminine voice makes him jump. He whirls around to see a Twi’lek woman with pink skin and pretty golden eyes looking back at him. She’s dressed… well she’s dressed like she knows what she’s doing. All black, tactical, and just low cut enough that she can work certain advantages if need be._

_She gives a knowing smile and strides to him, “You’re good.”_

_He doesn’t respond. This feels dangerous. She’s clearly there for the same hit he just took care of, which means she could very well try to kill him and take credit for the hit._

_She frowns as she steps gingerly over a pool of blood. “A little messy, don’t you think?”_

_She’s trying very hard to get him to talk. It isn’t going to work._

_She blinks a few times, like she might be offended that he didn’t want to chat. “Well, just so you know, I took out three guards who would have had you had I not stepped in.”_

_He sniffs. “Sounds like a convenient lie.”_

_She smiles. “Ah. You do speak. Well, I’m not lying.”_

_“Then you’re bad at your job. You should have let them kill me.”_

_Her smile doesn’t falter at the insult. “I should have. The more you talk the more I’m realizing that.”_

_He almost laughs at the comeback._

_She shrugs, “In truth, I was having too much fun watching you go. This guy was a fairly small bounty to begin with; it was worth it to watch you work.”_

_Flattery. Stupid._

_She sinks into one of the large leather chairs in the room, brushing her lekku over her shoulder and trailing her fingers in little circles on the armrest. “What’s your name?”_

_Ha. Not going to work._

_She smirks, “My name is Malie Ofran.”_

_He’s already pieced that together. She’s a bit notorious in their career field._

_“You’ve heard of me?”_

_He doesn’t respond. It’s a stupid question and she knows it, she just wants to hear him say it._

_She smiles, waiting for him to respond._

_“Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?”_

_“Why don’t you answer questions that mean no harm? You could just lie to me about your name for the sake of conversation.”_

_He glances down at the bloody corpse. This doesn’t seem like a great place for conversation._

_She nods playfully, her gold eyes glittering, “Come on boy, tell me your name.”_

_He frowns. Boy. “What do you want?”_

_She laughs, “Oh, you’re kind of fun, aren’t you? A little stubborn.”_

_“If you keep delaying like this we’ll both get caught. Someone’s bound to show up soon.”_

_“Oh. I don’t get caught. Don’t you know that?”_

_“If I’m getting caught then so are you.” He means it as a threat. He hopes she takes it as one._

_She laughs. Genuinely. She really thinks it’s funny. “You’re kind of cute. How old are you, boy? You look young to be in this line of work.”_

_That’s certainly none of her business, and she’s starting to grate on his last nerve with the pet name._

_She grins tightly, “Oh you don’t like me calling you that, do you? Boy? You must be young then.”_

_He can’t help but roll his eyes, “Listen, woman, I’m leaving now. I suggest you do too.” He turns to leave. It’s a rule of thumb to never turn your back on a potential attacker, but he’s fed up with this stupid game not getting anywhere and if turning his back was what he has to do to get her to make a move, then so be it._

_“What mistakes do you think you made on this hunt?”_

_It’s an odd enough question to make him freeze for a moment._

_Behind him, she inhales deeply, “Your success in this field is based on two things, boy. One is your ability to think on your feet. The other is your ability to learn from your mistakes_ very _quickly, because if they don’t kill you the first time they will the second time.”_

_“Hm. Thanks for the advice.” He takes a step toward the door._

_“You don’t want to go out there. The authorities have already surrounded the building. They’ll be breaking in anytime now.”_

_He freezes. How did she know that?_

_He hears her stand behind him, sighing impatiently, “You’re not trained, I know that for a fact. You really think I don’t research my competition? This new little blip of a boy popped up on my radar a few weeks ago and the things I heard about him made me very curious, so I did a little research.” She walks in front of him and smiles, “I actually did find the boy’s name, but since he won’t extend the courtesy of telling it to me I won’t use it.”_

_“Are they actually out there?”_

_“Oh yes.” She picks at her nails casually. “I called them shortly after you entered the building.”_

_“Why the fuck would you do that?” Was she out of her mind?_

_“Oh. Getting angry now? Don’t lose your temper, boy.” She wags a finger at him that he wishes he could break. “I have a way out. You, however, do not. I’ve been impressed with the work I’ve seen you do so far, I want to see what you’re capable of when you’re actually challenged.”_

_“I don’t need a mentor.” He just needs to get out of this fucking building…_

_She shrugs, “I would argue that you do, though I wasn’t really extending the offer. I don’t like to create my own competition.”_

_It’s a sincere, offhanded comment. She probably doesn’t even realize she said it. He’s flattered nonetheless; She thought he could be her competition._

_She puts a finger under his chin playfully, directing his eyes up to hers, “But you are really kind of fun. I could teach you all kinds of things.”_

_The suggestion is not even remotely subtle. He pushes her hand away. “I’m not interested.”_

_Her smile flickers for a moment – clearly the rejection bugs her, though he’s certain she isn’t actually interested. She doesn’t get rejected, she does the rejecting._

_She huffs. “See, it’s really no loss to me if you win or lose here. You win, I get to watch a good show. You lose, and I’ve just killed off someone who was just taking up space.” She crosses her arms, “So what’s your move, boy?”_

_**_

_The woman grins at him from across the table, “I’m so glad I didn’t kill you earlier. You’re way too much fun to watch.”_

_He’s flattered, but doesn’t show it. She can still tell, or maybe she just assumes everyone is flattered by her all the time. “I have a big job coming up. I could use a hand. Work it with me?”_

_“Ha.” He can’t stop the laugh from leaking out. “You’d have to try way harder than that to trap me. Too obvious.”_

_She smiles crookedly, “You don’t trust me. Smart.”_

_“That’s not smart, it’s common sense. You have no reason to bring me in on one of your jobs.”_

_“Yes I do. I just told you. I need a second person.”_

_She lays out the details. She does need a second person, someone to get past a series of guards and take out an alarm system while she enters the target’s home from another point._

_“30,000 credits for the job”, she says. That would easily be his biggest job yet. Over twice as large as any other he’s taken._

_“Split 50/50?” he asks._

_She snorts. “No. That amount is cut I’m offering you. And no, it’s not half.”_

_**_

_They work together from time to time, whenever a large job comes up that’s best handled by two people.  She’s easy to work with, and she’s incredibly talented – it’s good for him to see her methods. She seems to enjoy his company. And their styles work well together. She gives him tips. He uses them to save her hide on more than one occasion._

_After the fifth or sixth job, their biggest yet, she demands they go out for drinks afterward. He agrees, reluctantly. She takes him to an underground club in a very metropolitan area._

_She plops down into a plush cushion in a private booth she’s agreed to pay too much for, laughing. “See, aren’t you glad you decided to trust me?”_

_“Don’t flatter yourself, I still don’t trust you.”_

_She laughs, “Smart boy.” She still calls him boy. She knows his name, she just likes to bug him._

_She looks out over the rainbow of dancing people. “You never come out with me after a job. We have to celebrate the hit and the fact that you’re very nearly being social.”_

_It isn’t that he never goes out. He just hasn’t gone out with her before._

_“I have to make sure you have a good time now.” She winks and signals for someone bring them drinks. “We ought to work together more, Kai.”_

_He takes a drink, “We are effective when we work together.”_

_“We are. Let’s go into business together.”_

_This time, he laughs at her._

_She shakes her head, “No, don’t laugh! I’m serious! We balance well. I think as a team we’d be fantastically successful.”_

_“Team?” He can’t hide his smirk, “By team, do you mean 50/50?”_

_Her mouth hangs open for a second. “49/51. One of us has to be able to overrule the other in the case of a disagreement.”_

_“Let me guess which one I am…”_

_“Okay. Okay. 50/50.”_

_He looks at her._

_She laughs again, “I’m serious. Really. 50/50.”_

_He taps his lips. He still doesn’t really trust her. Well, maybe with his life. Just not with his money._

_“How about this.” She moves around the table, “50/50, under the condition that you pick one out.” She motions to the crowd, taking a close seat to him._

_“Pick one out?”_

_She winks, “Yeah. Your favorite. Pick one.”_

_He hesitates. It feels massively awkward. He doesn’t really discuss things like this with other people._

_She gives an airy waive, “Fine, take your time. It’s a big decision. I’ll go first.” She leans forward, scanning over the crowd. “Oof. That one.” She points to a very classically handsome looking human who seems highly distracted by a woman who’s grinding up against him._

_“I hate to tell you this, but I don’t think you have a chance with him. He’s already half way there with that woman.”_

_She laughs, “You’re very pragmatic, love. It’s a good trait. So? Yours?”_

_He makes a subtle glance over his shoulder to a group chatting near the bar behind them._

_She isn’t so subtle when she looks. “Who? The purple one?” A short purple female Twi’lek wearing a fitted dress and tall boots is seated at the bar. Malie tilts her head, squinting, “I mean… she’s cute… but really that’s your pick of everyone here?”_

_He scratches his nose, “No… we’ve known each other for nearly a year now. Have you really not caught on?”_

_She looks completely clueless. She really hasn’t caught on._

_“The green one.” He says flatly._

_She looks back. “The green… oh. OH.” She turns back to him with a wide grin, “The guy. Okay, that makes way more sense. Much better pick than the purple one.”_

_He finishes off his drink a little too quickly. “Yeah.”_

_She wrinkles her nose, “So that’s why you told me you weren’t interested when we first met…”_

_He’s already started on his second drink, but chokes a little on it. He’d forgotten about that._

_She seems pleased, happy to have been rejected based on gender rather than another factor. “Well, that makes sense then.”_

_“I can’t believe you haven’t noticed… you know Kant Talv? The weapons dealer?”_

_“Ooooh… really? Regularly?”_

_Regularly didn’t really happen in his world, not with one specific partner. “Two or three times.”_

_She’s giddy, “Really?”_

_“Yeah. And that Zabrak from the Zeyelt job?”_

_“Oooh… shit the body guard?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“He was super attractive.”_

_“… Yeah.” Did she think he didn’t have standards?_

_“What was his name again?”_

_He shakes his head and shrugs._

_She cracks a laugh, punching his arm. “I like you even more every time we talk.” She finishes off her drink and flags the waiter for another. “Have you fucked a Twi’lek before?”_

_“Mm… no.” The drinks are going down both too fast and not fast enough._

_She taps her lips for a moment, “Well, then I really can make sure you have a good time tonight.” She turns over the edge of the sofa to the bar, waving, “Hey, Elav! Come here! I want you to meet someone!”_

_He nearly spits his drink for the second time when the green Twi’lek waves back at her._

_**_

_She comes and goes, but they work big jobs together moving forward. It’s a perfect setup, actually. They both prefer to work alone, but when they needed a partner they always know the other will be there, steadfast and reliable._

_Until she disappears, without a word._

_And one day, nearly a whole year later, she reappears as though nothing had happened._

_She looks at him with a smirk on her face. “Been awhile.”_

_“Where have you been?”_

_She shrugs, “I had some business to take care of. Sorry, it was a no-notice situation.”_

_She looks different. Something about her face. And she seems… more collected, less impulsive._

_“I have a job. Wanna help?”_

_“50/50?”_

_“50/50.”_

_And like that, they’re back in business together. But it’s not like it used to be. She’s not there as much. He takes more jobs on his own than he works with her._

_**_

_He situates himself in a somewhat hidden place near the bar of the nightclub, watching his target carefully. Observing. He made his move too soon last time, and had paid for it by getting his ass handed to him by the target. This time he’ll be better prepared, he’ll know more about the target.  This time he’ll have a better plan._

_It’s the biggest job he’s ever taken on without Malie. He’s sure he can do it. It’s just a matter of finding the right angle._

_Malie surprises him, sliding into a seat next to him. It’s not a huge surprise; this bar is a sort of gathering post for the more seedy characters around here._

_“Hey there. What are you up to?”_

_“Want to work a job together?” The payout for the job would be worth splitting, and with her help he could absolutely get it done._

_“Hm. What is it?”_

_He nodded to the dark haired man who’d thrown him through a wall without even touching him in their last encounter. Malie glances, raises an eyebrow, “That kid? You do know who he is, right? Kylo Ren’s kid?” She laughs, shaking her head. “I’m not about to mess with that.”_

_He frowns. She never used to turn down jobs, not before she disappeared for awhile. “Why?”_

_“I don’t mess with Force users.”_

_“Really? Why? You’ve never struck me as a mystical type.”_

_She shrugs, “Don’t know. Just a personal thing.”_

_He runs his finger over his lips, “I shouldn’t call it mystical. The guy threw me through a wall without laying a finger on me on my last try.”_

_“Hm. You’re that little of a threat to him.” She says it offhandedly, like a thought from the back of her mind that just happened to bubble out of her mouth. It feels like a needle jabbing into his spine._

_“Yeah. I guess.”_

_“And you’re going to try again?”_

_“Mm.”_

_“What did you learn last time?”_

_This is why he appreciates working with her, not just as a business partner but as a friend. She has a way of getting him thinking, dissecting what he knows._

_“Hm. I’m not a threat, like you said.”_

_“Did you know you can drown in three inches of water?” She tilts her head to the side. “Everything is a threat if applied correctly. What did you do last time?”_

_He recounts the miserably failed attempt._

_“So sneaking up on him doesn’t work. What else do you know about him?”_

_“He’s a cocky fucker, that’s for sure.” He glanced over to him — he has two women, a brunette and a red head, hanging off him, and is clearly enjoying the attention. They’re heading toward the back of the club, no doubt to a private room._

_“Proud. Would you expect any less, considering his lineage?”_

_“He seems to think he’s a gift from the gods… He’s been flitting from one person to another all evening.”_

_“Ah. Well.”_

_“Well this gets me nowhere.”_

_“You, my friend, are forgetting the biggest resource you have. You always do. I swear, I’ve never seen you use it to your advantage before. I’m beginning to think you don’t even know you have it.”_

_“Hm?”_

_She rolls her eyes and grabs his chin, “You’re pretty, love. Use it.”_

_He pulls his face from her fingers, “Eh… no.”_

_“No?”_

_“Are you really suggesting I try to… to seduce him?” He motions to the man. “That guy?”_

_“Precisely. He’s easy. It’ll work.”_

_“No.” Absolutely not. Especially not after their last encounter._

_“You don’t have to sleep with him. You just need to get him somewhere private, make sure he’s venerable and unsuspecting… And hey, look, if you happen to get laid beforehand it’s not the end of the world. He’s pretty cute in a weird sort of way.”_

_“Right. That… feels like a death wish. It would never work.”_

_She smirks a little, “Look, give it a try. If it doesn’t work, bail before you’re in too deep to back out.” She pauses. “If you’ll excuse the pun.”_

_He frowns at her._

_She laughs. “If it does work, I’ll give you my half from the next hit.”_

_She’s serious._

_They shake on it. It’s too good a deal for him to pass up._

_Even better: It works. Not quite the way he hoped it would, though. Things got a little… carried away. He really wasn’t interested in the guy, it was just the Force pull thing he did while Kai was on top of him… It seemed to just shut down whatever part of his brain that monitored his self control. The whole ordeal ended with him on top of the unconscious guy, trying desperately to calm down._

_In his first encounter with the Force, he’d been thrown through a wall. He hadn’t really thought of it’s potential use in this sort of context. Maybe this guy was more useful to Kai if he wasn’t dead._

_So Kai didn’t kill him, he just left the man passed out in the private room. He'd find him again when he needed to._


	11. Chapter 11

If Milo had known that all he had to do was ask politely, he would have asked years ago. He barely got the word please out of his mouth before Kai’s mind just opened up to him. There was something intoxicating about it, almost like he was being sucked in. He kissed Kai again. Because fuck it, he was enjoying doing it and Kai was enjoying it more than he would ever admit, and if he was going to be in Kai’s mind he may as well be in his mouth too.

The memories come to him in a sort of liquid, smokey way. Mind reading is different with everyone; with Kai it was like wading into a foggy pond, where you’re suddenly enveloped in everything but it’s so sprawling and difficult to see too far. He decided not to pull; he let Kai’s mind present whatever it wanted. He’d always thought that was the real beauty of being able to read minds – not what the thoughts and memories told you about a person, but the way they let you see the memories.

It didn’t take long for his mind to relate the story of Maive and her mother — maybe a few seconds — but it felt like time slowed down. Kai was far more attuned to these things than he understood; no doubt he could feel it too. He gasped against Milo’s lips.

It was a little comical how quickly Kai crumbled. He didn’t laugh – Milo wasn’t that much of an asshole. He understood this was a huge leap for Kai. He’d waited years for something like this from him. He was venerable, weak from having temporarily died a few days prior, relieved to be alive, desperate for help with the little girl, suspicious of how kind they’d all been to he and the girl when most of them didn’t even know him… Milo could feel it all and he understood and he wanted Kai to know that.

His body seemed to grow a little heavier, looser, and he wove his fingers into the hair hanging over the back of Milo’s neck, pulling him closer and welcoming the kiss with just as much greed as he would have expected from Kai, which was a lot.

He kept trying to think of some witty thing to say, but everything seemed grossly inappropriate.

“Kai –“

“Don’t talk.”

He laughed. Message received, loud and clear.

He gave Kai whatever he wanted – his lips, his skin, his silence – until Kai nodded off.

 

**

 

Milo woke to someone jabbing his shoulder. He was in Kai’s bed, facing the window with bright yellow sunlight pouring in. Kai was next to him, curled in toward him so his eyes were hidden from the sun, sleeping softly.

Another jab. “Er… Hey, sorry to break this up…”

It was Iz. He seemed like such a nice guy. He wondered how much he must have suffered training with  Ren for a year.

“Sorry, but it’s mid morning and Maive is begging to see him and we’re not quite sure how to keep delaying.”

He nuzzled his nose into Kai’s hair. He wasn’t sure how much he liked the idea of having to share Kai with this little girl.

“Mm. Sorry.” Milo pulled himself away gently, Kai giving a discomforted murmur but not waking up. “He… er… told me some things. About the girl. But I think it’s best for you all to hear it from him.”

Iz nodded, “I think we’d all prefer it that way as well. She doesn’t know he’s awake yet. I had a feeling she might tear down the door to get to him if she knew.”

“Probably smart.”

Iz tilted his head, “Where is he from? His accent is very…”

He tried his best to control the smirk on his face, he wouldn’t ever have imagined Kai was constantly working so hard to cover such a heavy accent. “He’s always kept it hidden well, and he’s never told me where he’s from. He said he’s too tired to cover it up now.”

Iz clicked his teeth, “Yeah… I… couldn’t really understand him. It’s pretty heavy.”

He couldn’t stop the laugh any more. Poor Kai. It must have been a lot of work to hide the accent. No wonder he didn’t talk much.

Iz shook his head, laughing a little. “Would you mind waking him up? I’ll bring Maive in a little bit. She can’t be held back much longer.”

Milo nodded as Iz left. He didn’t really want to wake Kai. He looked too relaxed, especially with the sun shining into the room.

He kissed him again, for good measure. For all he knew, Kai might flip back to his regular self and he’d never get another chance. He squeezed Kai’s arm gently. “Kai… Kai…” His eyes opened a little. Cute. It made Milo want to kiss him again.

“Mmph.” He blinked blearily a few times and rubbed his face. “How long…”

“Just a few hours. Iz says Maive is begging to see you. They haven’t told her you’re awake.”

“Oh.” He blinked the sleep away and sat up stiffly. He seemed to struggle with moving less than he did a few hours prior. “Iz… that’s the doctor, right? The one I spoke with earlier?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded.

“How are you feeling?” He tried not to sound too concerned, but it didn’t really work.

Kai seemed as confused by the concern as Milo was. He mumbled something inaudible. “Better. Not good. But better.”

“Your side?”

“I can sit up without leaning against the wall.”

“Iz will probably take a look again; he might be able to help you more, with the pain…”

Kai looked even more confused. “Think I’m okay. It will pass.”

He nodded. It was too much. He’d crossed the line. Unfortunately the line kept moving around so it was difficult to tell where it was at any given moment.

A sharp yip drew their attention to the door, just in time to see the little Twi’lek girl bolt through and throw herself onto Kai in a giant embrace. She would have knocked him over; luckily the wall was a few inches behind him to catch him. He looked equally shocked and confused.

She sobbed heavily into his chest, “You were gone… I thought you were gone… I thought I lost you too…”

He patted her head awkwardly, “I’m okay.”

She sobbed something inaudible. Milo wasn’t sure what she said, but Kai evidently understood. He looked sad, giving her something that seemed somewhat like it might be a hug. “They’ve been good to you here?”

“Yes.” Her words could barely be made out. “Yes. I like your friends. I didn’t know you had any.”

He quickly hid the smile that flashed across his face. Milo didn’t bother hiding his, he laughed out loud.

“You didn’t tell me your friends could use the Force too.”

Kai nodded a little and looked up to Milo, who shook his head and pointed to Iz. Kai blinked, looked at the man. Iz smiled at him.

“We were… caught a little off guard by her at first. But she’s been having great fun playing with my kids. She says she’s never met another one? Her abilities are pretty well controlled for someone untrained.”

His mouth hung open for a moment, “I… I cobbled together some sort of makeshift training for her… it was becoming a problem.”

Iz inhaled deeply, “I think… I think we need to have that discussion I mentioned sooner rather than later.”

Kai nodded, “Understandable.” He looked around the room, “Can we go somewhere else? I need to move a little bit.”

“Do you think you can stand?”

He coaxed the girl off him gently and slowly made his way to his feet. Milo wanted to offer help, he looked so weak. But he had a very strong feeling Kai would rather hang himself than be seen leaning on anyone else for support.

The little girl gathered herself quickly, grinning widely when Kai was finally upright. Before Iz could lead them out, she grabbed Kai’s wrist and started pulling him to the door, “Come on, come on, I want everyone to see you’re okay.”

He wasn’t sure if Kai went along with it because he was okay with it, or because he was too weak to fight back. She chattered away as she drug him down the hallway, “Some of these people aren’t your friends, are they? They don’t know who you are, I asked them. They’re all very nice though, they’ll like you…”

She was not patient with him as he slowly made his way down the staircase, and took his wrist again when they reached the bottom, dragging him to the main room, “These are my friends, Oz and Brie. Iz is their dad.”

Iz seemed like he might be father of the year – he was incredibly endeared by the girl’s behavior. Milo, on the other hand, found it downright hysterical.

Kai looked down at Iz’s two kids, puzzled. “Er… Hey.”

“Oh and the pretty lady with the orange hair is their mom.” She pointed to Cerys at the end of the hallway.

Milo’s mother explained Cerys’s exact family situation to him — he still trying to make sense of the woman being the daughter of Armitage Hux. Aizeh… well that one made sense. But Cerys was so… _nice_. Maybe it was because she was raised around his mother.

Cerys offered Kai her hand, “It’s good to finally meet you. I’m Cerys.”

He shook her hand and introduced himself with a few short words. He was starting to avoid talking.

“It’s good to see you’re finally walking around. Are you hungry?”

She was _definitely_ raised around his mother.

He shook his head, “No, thank you.”

Maive drug him onward, out to the deck. “Look! Look! He’s okay!”

Pan and Aizeh both introduced themselves.

“You have a really nice ship.” Pan said, grinning. “It was fun to fly it back here.”

Milo cringed, waiting for Kai’s negative reaction. That ship was his baby. He never even let Milo fly it, despite how many times he’d asked over the years. No doubt Kai would _not_ be happy with some complete stranger flying it.

But no negative reaction came. He just nodded at Pan. “Thanks.”

“We were a little surprised to find Maive in there.” Aizeh added. “I think we’d all like to know what exactly the story is…”

Kai looked overwhelmed and exhausted. “You all keep asking the same questions…”

Both Pan and Aizeh looked confused — they couldn’t understand him. “What?”

Kai clearly did not have the energy or the temper to put up with this. It may not have helped that Milo was trying to keep himself from giggling at the situation. He moved closer to the side of the house, and seated himself on the dock, positioning himself so he could lean against the wall for support. He was clearly tired and still in a little pain.

Iz followed them out to the dock, along with Cerys. “Well… Aizeh is right, we all would like a bit of an explanation, if you think you have the energy to talk.”

Maive huddled next to Kai. He nodded, speaking slowly, focusing on his accent. “Yeah. I can talk.”

Iz sniffed. “Maive? Why don’t you go play with Brie and Oz for a little bit?”

“No.” She pressed herself into Kai’s side. Iz smiled a little.

Kai pushed her away, “You should go. They will be more fun than me.”

She frowned up at him for a moment, then stomped away like she’d been rejected, doing a remarkably accurate impression of his accent as she left, “ _Go away, go away_.”

Milo couldn’t help but smirk a little at her attitude. When he looked back at Kai, he had his hand over his mouth hiding a laugh. “I hope I don’t sound that terrible.”


	12. The Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaack! Sorry for the ridiculously long hiatus! I have a lot of things happening right now, so I will update when I can but I can't make any promises. Thank you to those of you who have stuck around!

_It’s one of those occasions worth celebrating — he and Malie just pulled off their biggest job yet. 100,000 credits each. They get their usual private booth and open it up for her friends, the regulars. He wonders if any of them know why the two of them party like this from time to time. Some of them must. The better question is if they care._

_Elav shows up. It’s been awhile. He pulls Kai to the side, kisses his neck and touches him just the right amount… it should be good. But Kai just isn’t feeling it for some reason._

_He and Malie leave while their own party is still raging. They’re both tired. It’s been a very long day._

_They walk through the dead city streets toward their respective ships. She nudges him, “What is wrong with you? You could be going home with Elav…”_

_He shrugs a little, “I think I’m just a little too tired.”_

_“Who are you kidding? Work never makes you too tired to spend some time in bed with a good looking guy...”_

_“Maybe I’m getting old. You’re going home alone too.”_

_She laughs, “Are you calling me old?”_

_“Well, you do call me boy. Still.”_

_“You do know I’m only about 5 years older than you?”_

_He didn’t know that. Not that he’s surprised. She looks young, and acts young. He just never really thought about it before. How, in all these years, has he never bothered to ask her how old she was?_

_“Do you know what I think it is?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“I think a certain Jedi boy has stolen your heart.” With her accent, she pronounced Jedi with two obnoxiously distinct syllables._

_“Jedi?”_

_“Mm.” She quirks an eyebrow, “You think I have not noticed? You let him live a few years ago when you had the hit on him, and you still go back to him from time to time.”_

_“Wha… Milo? HA.” It’s maybe the funniest thing she’s ever implied. “Really? Milo?”_

_“Oh? You deny it?”_

_“Eh… yeah.”_

_“But you see him so often.”_

_“I don’t even see him once a month...”  That was a bit of a lie. He might see Milo a little more often than that. “How do you know how often I see him?”_

_“You just told me.” She grins. “That’s more often than you see me.”_

_“Yeah, but we don’t fuck.” He says bluntly._

_“Mm, play it off like it’s nothing if you will, but who else in this galaxy do you make a point to see so often?”_

_Nobody. That was the very honest answer._

_She sniffs, “He must be fantastic.”_

_That would not be incorrect. “It’s not like that… at all. Milo just… makes it easy.”_

_“I assumed that. He does have a reputation.”_

_“No, I mean… had I screwed around with Elav tonight I guarantee you he would have tried to… to spend the night or some bullshit like that. It’s never an issue with Milo. We have an understanding. We fuck, we part ways, and awhile later we run across each other and fuck again. There’s no… sleepovers or cuddling or “bonding” type shit. It’s just… sex, there, when I want it, however I want it, and then it’s done until next time.” He paused. “And yes, it’s good. Every time.”_

_She laughs and throws an arm around his shoulders, kissing his temple, “As long as you are happy, boy. My ship is that way.” She points down the street, toward a different overnight station located in the opposite direction from his. It’s a little more exclusive, pricier. He isn’t surprised she chose to leave her ship there._

_He waves to her, “Until next time?”_

_“Until next time.” She nods, “Maybe someday I’ll be good enough that you want to see me every few month as well.” She pauses and shakes her head, “Not for sex though. You keep your Jedi for that.”_

_She must be very drunk. He laughs to himself as he makes his way back to his ship, alone._

_The next morning he wakes alone, and realizes he still has her blaster. There was a scuffle on the job the day before, and he ended up with it. They were both so happy with their successful mission they’d forgotten to straighten everything out before they went out for the evening._

_It’s still very early. Maybe he can catch her before she leaves._

_He arrives at the yard her ship is in before the sun is even up. A crotchety old man comes out of the management building and yells at him, tells him he’s not parked there so he’s not welcome. Kai throws too many credits at him and goes to find Malie’s ship._

_Malie’s ship is bigger than his; he’s never actually been aboard but he has seen it a few times. From the front, he can see a light on inside. He bangs on the entry. He trys to ignore the pit in his stomach when there’s no answer — he has no reason to be nervous. She’s probably still passed out. He bangs again. Still, nothing._

_How to get in…. how to get in… there’s a keypad. He doesn’t know any of her codes. He trys a few random ones, to no avail. Finally he grabs a charger from his ship and hooks it up to her ship’s pad. The energy surge is enough to make the lights aboard the ship flicker, and the door drops open. He goes in._

_He nearly falls back out._

_It’s like a scene from a nightmare – she’d clearly put up a fight. Malie lay curled into a corner, on her side, bloodied. He can’t look. He needed to vomit._

_He’s learned to read the signs over the years, because he’s been the one responsible for leaving them many, many times. There’s footprints in the blood, smeared and hurried, tracked further into the ship. Two people, from what he can tell._

_He’s struggling to breathe. He glances back to Malie. The breath catches in his throat._

_It’s not that he’s never seen a dead body before. On the contrary, he’s seen plenty. He’s_ made _plenty. It’s just been a long time since he’s seen one he actually cared about._

_How could this have happened? Why? Who would be after her? Who would be after her that could actually inflict this sort of damage?_

_He needs to leave quickly. Very quickly. Whoever came for her could very likely come for him, if this is something related to a job._

_But not before paying his respects._

_It’s a silly thing. He doesn’t know why he feels compelled to do it. He’s never done it for anyone before. But he remembers his mother doing it, once for his grandfather and once for his brother. Somehow it seems right, like something he needs to do._

_He kneels next to her and closes her eyes. Closes his eyes. It’s so damn difficult to breathe. He wants to tell her he’s sorry. He wants to ask her: Who was this? Was this related to one of their jobs? Could he have done something to stop it?_

_But that would be stupid. Why would he talk to a dead person? He opens his eyes. Why is he kneeling next to a dead person? It’s self serving. Stupid._

_He stands, and looks at the tracked blood from the attackers. The trail goes deeper into the ship, smeared and hurried. The attackers went further into the ship after they killed her. He follows the morbid steps. They circle into a few rooms. Things are overturned and opened, vents are torn open with bloody hand prints, like they were looking for something._

_And then he hears it. A noise so quiet it’s barely audible. Something moved. Someone moved. Someone is here._

_He stops dead in his tracks and focuses, trying to hone in on the sound._

_Another one. Below him. He looks down._

_The floor has panels, all flush save one — the edge sticks up just a little tiny bit. He steps toward it carefully, as quietly as possible._

_Another scrape._

_He crouches down next to it and runs his fingers along the slightly raised edge._

_He flips it open._

_He expects something to jump out at him, some little creature._

_Instead, there’s a peep. A weak, pathetic, frightened little peep and a pair of huge, terrified, tear-filled golden eyes looking back at him._

_He needed to vomit._

_**_

_Home. This is home. It’s raining, as usual, and there’s nothing but forest around him and the scent of trees and an old stone staircase stretching up before him and back behind him into what seemed like an eternity. Bugs hid in the trees, chirping around him._

_The pitter-patter of her feet follows after him._

_**_

_She’s asleep, curled up in his bed. He never thought she’d fall asleep. She hasn’t slept much since he found her. The few times she did fall asleep, she woke up screaming with night terrors. He does feel a bad for her._

_He doesn’t know how old she is. Four? Seven? He can’t remember the last time he was around a child for any period of time. He didn’t let her see her mother when he took her from the ship, but she did see the blood. She’s smart, she understands what happened to her mother. He doesn’t blame her for the night terrors. But he does wish she could sleep through a full night._

_He takes a drink. Thank god he’s fully stocked on alcohol. He’s going to need it while he figures this out._

_**_

_She barely sleeps, and by extension he barely sleeps. He knows he’s not much help. He isn’t well equipped for these situations with an adult – much less so with a child. When she’s awake, she seems okay. At least, she’s good at distracting herself._

_He asks her who her father is; she tells him she doesn’t have one. He isn’t about to try and explain to her that yes, she does have one, everyone has one. She asks him how he knew her mother. He just tells her they’re friends. It isn’t a complete lie, right?_

_She’s chatty, just like her mother. What is his name? Where is he from? Who are his parents? Where are  they? Why does he live on a rainy hill in the forest? Doesn’t he get lonely? Why does he park his ship so far from his home? Why does he sleep on the floor instead of a raised bed? Why doesn’t he have a holo? No music? Does he not like music? Why is he so quiet? Doesn’t he get bored?_

_What’s it like having hair? The question is followed with utter fascination when he explains that it grows, then by horror when he mentions he cuts it. “Doesn’t that hurt?” He explains that it isn’t like her lekku, hair can’t feel anything. She seems skeptical. He wakes the next morning to her testing the statement by tugging on his hair._

_Her second week there, he’s hit with a surprise in the form of a table, hurled across the room at his head in the middle of the night. It’s a rude awakening, coupled with her horrified shrieking. He jumps up, frantically looking around the room for the threat._

_There’s nobody else. It’s just he and the sobbing girl, sitting upright in her bed with her face buried in her hands. It isn’t just the table that moved. There are a few cushions and a few bottles; they were all cast in various directions, a few of the bottles smashed against the wall. The only common denominator he can see was that they were all cast outward from her._

_It really doesn’t make sense. He asks her if she’s okay. She keeps her eyes hidden in her hands, but sobs a yes. He moves the table back to its upright position and cleans up the bits of glass and moves everything back to where it was. The girl sobs and sobs, like usual, until he turns to her. Her eyes grow huge with terror. She starts wailing, so hard he can barely make out the words: “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I hurt you.”_

_He touches his forehead. Not really surprising, but the table hurled at his head left him with a gash. Nothing bad, he’s had much worse._

_“I’m okay.” He tells her._

_She keeps wailing unintelligible apologies._

_“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t…” Then again, everything was cast away from her._

_He remembers Milo tossing him through a wall without touching him when they first met._

_“… Did you do that?” He sits on the floor in front of her, his legs crossed. “Did you?”_

_She’s hysterical. He gives up for a moment, reassuring her he’s fine before going to the wash to clean up the wound. Understandably, his medical cabinet is always well stocked. The wound is so minor it will have healed over almost completely by the next morning._

_He sits down in front of her again. “See? I’m okay. Really. It didn’t hurt.” A small lie... “Did you do that?”_

_She’s so afraid. He reassures her over and over: It’s okay. He’s not mad._

_She’s so hesitant to admit it._

_“Can you control it?”_

_“Sometimes.”_

_“How long have you been able to do that?”_

_A shrug. As long as she can remember._

_“Did your mother know?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Something strikes him. “Could your mother do that too?”_

_“No.”_

_“Did she explain it to you?”_

_“Yes. A little. It’s the Force. She said it was good. She liked it.”_

_“Have you ever met anyone else who can use it?”_

_“No.”_

_He thinks of Milo._

_There isn’t a shot in hell he’s taking this little girl anywhere near Milo._


	13. Chapter 13

Kai shook his head, watching Maive play with the other two kids in the sand. She seemed happy. “I don’t know why her mother never mentioned her.” He had to exert a great deal of self control to not spit the last part of the sentence. Malie’s complete failure to mention the girl had been a massive source of frustration and confusion for him. She went dark on him for almost a full year once — it must have been when she was pregnant. But why did she come back?

He watched Maive.

Why the hell did she get back into such a terrible business with a child? From what he’d been able to gather from Maive, her mother carted her around in her ship while she was working jobs. Kai had always thought of Malie as a sister, but this was such a massive lapse of judgment he didn’t know that he could ever forgive her.

“So the people who attacked you two… You suspect they’re the ones who also killed her mother?”

He rubbed his face, trying to forget the anger he felt toward his friend. “Yes. I was keeping Maive in my home while I tried to figure out what to do with her, but they tracked me down there. They’re persistent, I suspect this whole thing is related to one of the jobs Malie and I took. Once they knew where I lived I knew I couldn’t return there with her. We needed to relocate, but I needed money to do it. I was going to take a job to cover the cost, and ran across the hit on Milo.”

“You haven’t taken a job since you found her?”

One. There was one job. He learned very quickly that it was a terrible, terrible idea to do something so dangerous when someone was depending on you returning home. He was still too ashamed of the mishap to admit to it. He shook his head. “Too much risk.”

Iz nodded slowly. “It’s good you realized that.”

“I don’t know why her mother…”

Iz waved the comment away. “It might be best to not dwell on the actions she took. All you can do is what’s best for the girl moving forward. It sounds like you’ve helped her a great deal.”

“I don’t know about that.” He’s getting tired of talking.

Iz, thankfully, was intuitive. “I think you’ve done enough talking for awhile. You’re welcome to stay down here if you want, or you can go back up to the room if you need to sleep.” He stood to leave and put a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “It sounds like you two have been through a lot. You’re both welcome to stay here as long as you need to.”

Why were these people so kind? He could understand the kindness toward Maive, but they had absolutely no reason to be kind to him.

He stayed on the dock for awhile, warming up in the sunshine. This home — this planet — was stunningly beautiful. The weather was perfect, the view was amazing. Maive seemed happy. It was good to see her with kids her own age. He worried about that, since she started living with him. He didn’t know any kids. He didn’t know any people with kids. She stayed in his home, alone most of the time. It wasn’t a good place for her, but it was the best he could do given the circumstances.

This place was much better for her.

Milo stayed with him, talking a little bit but mostly letting him be, just sitting next to him. He didn’t mind. Or maybe he was too tired to mind.

He returned to the bedroom after awhile, and fell asleep again in the middle of the day.

When he woke again, it was nearing dark. He carefully made his way back downstairs, to the voices. It was amazing how terribly his whole body ached. He’d been injured severely before — he had the scar to show for it — but the feeling of a slow recovery was something he would never get used to.

They seemed strangely happy to see him, and offered him food. He ate more than he thought he would, and made his way back out to the dock to watch the moon over the ocean. Milo sat with him again, not saying much. It was a rare occasion that Milo didn’t say much. He appreciated it.

The Nagai kid joined them after awhile. “You seem like you’re feeling a little better?”

He nodded and looked at the kid for a moment. _“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen another one. What are you doing in this part of the galaxy?”_ He asked in their shared language.

Pan looked surprised for a moment. Kai was used to the shocked looks. _“You’re…”_

_“Half.”_ He nodded.

The kid’s mouth hung open for a moment. He covered it quickly. _“Really?”_ He sounded nearly giddy. _“I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell.”_

He was used to that. He looked more human for whatever reason.

“Wait. What?” Milo, sitting next to him, sounded utterly floored. Apparently Milo didn’t need to know a language to understand it. Must have been a Force thing.

He didn’t blame Pan for not noticing, but Milo… _“How_ have you not noticed in _three years_ that I’m not entirely human???”

“Well… you never really mentioned it.” He paused, then a look of awe came over his face. “Is that why your ears are sort of pointed and cute? I thought it was just a weird genetic thing…” He attempted to poke at them. Kai swatted his hand away.

“Don’t touch them.” Fucking Milo.

_“You aren’t from Nagi?”_ Pan asked, seemingly so fascinated by the revelation that they shared this in common.

_“No. But you are, I can hear it in your accent. Why are you here?”_

He hesitated, then launched into what might have been the craziest story Kai had ever heard. He was taken from his parents when he was young, and placed in a facility where he’d been subjected to what sounded like a terrible amount of pain, all to “bring out” dormant Force abilities. The really strange part was that it had worked. He could use the Force now.

After years of torture, he escaped and crash landed on a planet not far from where they were now, where he’d met some friends of Iz and Cerys. He wanted to return home — to find his parents — but finding them would be difficult and whatever had happened to him in the facility had left him with crippling headaches that rendered him unable to pilot safely on his own. He planned to stay here, with Iz and Cerys, for another few months, and then he would leave with a friend to go track down his parents.

He’d been searching for them for over a year.

_“It hasn’t been bad, being stuck here.”_ Pan added to the end of his story. _“Iz and Cerys are both great, and Iz has helped a great deal with my headaches. I used to get them every few days, now it’s just every few weeks. And he’s trained me as well, to use the Force.”_

Kai had noticed the lightsaber at his hip earlier in the day. Milo told him once that making one was part of training for a lot of Force users. He was curious — since Maive came into the picture — what that consisted of. He motioned to it. _“You made that?”_

Pan pulled it from his hip and showed it to him. _“I did. With Iz’s guidance.”_

_“Can I see it? How do you make them?”_

Both he and Milo start talking about the process — an odd conversation given that Milo spoke in Basic and Pan spoke Nagaian. Something about going off to some odd planet, finding a special singing rock… maybe the whole thing made more sense to a Force user. Kai sort of stopped listening. Not because he was bored, but because he was distracted. The hilt was beautifully made with a decorative, hooked pattern melded into the metal. He ran his finger over it. He _knew_ that design.

_“What is this?”_ He didn’t want to say too much. He kept his question vague.

_“Mm. My father specializes in making weapons. That was his trademark.”_ He smiled a little, but looked sad. _“It seemed right to put it on there.”_

He nodded a little and handed it back to Pan. _“It’s well made. I don’t know that I could help Maive with something like that.”_

_“But it sounds like you did a lot of good for her, considering you aren’t familiar with the Force. She has good control. How did you manage to train her?”_

How could he even begin to explain Maive’s makeshift training? It was a miracle it’d worked at all. _“Well… I threw a lot of things at her.”_


	14. Training

_Kai snatches his cigarette back from Milo. “You don’t have very fast reflexes for a Force user.”_

_Milo smirks at him, “I let you do that.”_

_He often wonders if Milo makes these things up as he goes, or if he spends hours stockpiling witty, suave sounding comebacks. He wouldn’t put it past the fool._

_But he needs to stay focused. He’s done a very, very bad job of that so far. He needs information from Milo, for Maive’s sake. And he needs the information without Milo suspecting anything had changed, because the last thing he wanted was this rambunctious fool knowing about the girl. If Milo found out about her he would be dead set on inserting himself into the picture, probably more to show off his Force abilities to Kai than to actually help Maive. It would also mean Milo would have to visit Kai’s home… which never had happened and never needed to happen._

_Like Malie used to tell him: trap them before they know they’re playing a game. Or in this case, without them ever knowing they’re playing a game. In this case, it was relatively easy. Milo loved talking about himself._

_“Right. I’m sure you did.” He makes sure to sound as unimpressed as possible, so Milo would be extra motivated to talk about himself._

_“I knew you were going to do it before you even moved your hand.”_

_“Heh. Yeah. Sure.”_

_“Aw… what, you don’t believe in the Force?”_

_“You’ve thrown me against a wall without even touching me.” He says flatly. “I’d be stupid to not believe in it.”_

_Milo grins like a predator. “You’re pretty fond of the things I can do to you without touching you.”_

_He walked right into that one. Milo must be extra pleased with himself. “Fuck off.”_

_Milo laughs and takes the cigarette back. He’s obnoxiously quick, it’s gone from Kai’s lips before he really realizes what Milo’s doing._

_Kai frowns. “You must have been a pain in the ass to raise.”_

_“Eh. Well. Yeah. I mean, at least my dad knew how to handle me.”_

_He imagines Kylo Ren probably didn’t have the most patience with his kid. What’s truly amazing is that Milo isn’t a complete wreck of a human. He’s only a minor wreck, nothing he can’t handle. It wouldn’t surprise him if he found out the notorious Kylo Ren was never really around for his kid. With all the legends about the man, it’s difficult to imagine him as a father._

_“Did you just pop out of the womb knowing how to throw things around?”_

_“Did you pop out of the womb knowing how to walk?”_

_“No, but that’s instinct. You’d figure it out eventually even if you never knew anyone who could walk.”_

_“Well, yeah.” He shrugs. Obnoxiously. “It’s just like walking, right? You can figure it out on your own. But if you want to learn to run marathons or walk tightropes, it’s pretty helpful to have a guide.” He frowns behind the haze of the cigarette. “Since when do you care about this?”_

_“I don’t.” He wonders if Milo can tell he’s lying. It always feels like he can tell._

_Milo takes a long drag, “In the olden days… like with my father… there were these sort of schools. That kind of shit doesn’t exist anymore. There are far too few of us left.” He adds the last part like it’s some sort of ominous, impressive thing.  Milo: The Last Jedi, or some dramatic nonsense like that. Not that Milo is a Jedi. He’s corrected Kai on that before. There’s no specific name for whatever he claims to be._

_“Hm. Impressive.” He says, sounding as unimpressed as he can. Milo laughs. He never gets insulted, no matter how hard Kai tries. “What the hell do you do with a school of Force kids? Let them throw each other around until they figure it out?”_

_“No. Well, yes, actually that probably was a good deal of it. If it was anything like training with my father, there’s a lot of being blindfolded and having things chucked at you while you try to fend it off.” He seems to enjoy the memory, which strikes Kai as slightly twisted. But then, it makes complete sense for Milo to be fond of twisted memories. “It’s mostly combat stuff and meditation. That may have just been my father’s take on it though. He had one other pupil, aside from me. He mentions him from time to time, I can never remember the guy’s name. I guess he was a talented healer. Fuck if I know how the poor sucker got stuck training with dad. He knows fuckall about healing.”_

_Force healing? That’s a thing?_

_The cigarette nears the end of its life between Milo’s lips. Admittedly, he’s a bit fond of Milo’s lips, especially when he has something between them. It’s a little difficult not to stare. He snatches the cigarette away from him, stealing the last bit of it for himself._

_Milo frowns. “What the fuck is with you always having to finish first?”_

_**_

_Meditation helps Maive. He’s not sure why he didn’t think of it earlier, when she started having the night terrors. He hears her jerk awake with a soft yip some nights, but she quickly takes to her breathing exercises to calm herself. She’s never really able to sleep through a night, but she’s able to fall back asleep more readily._

_She is not at all happy about the blindfolded practice. Hesitant at first, she grows very quickly disgruntled when he keeps pelting her with pebbles._

_“I don’t like this.”_

_“Focus. This should be easy for you. Remember the breathing I taught you? Do that.”_

_She takes a deep, impatient breath and gets hit with another pebble._

_“Idon’tlikethisstop.” She hisses in one angry breath._

_He wonders for a moment what Malie would do if she saw him pelting her daughter with rocks. She would probably wipe the floor with him._

_“Just focus.”_

_Again._

_And again._

_And again._

_He hides a sigh and chucks another at her and she snaps, right before it hits her, “STOP IT I DON’T LIKE THIS!”_

_The pebble flies back at him, nicking his arm._

_It works. It works! He doesn’t know if he’s more excited or if she is._

_**_

_It’s raining. It always rains here. He chose to live on this planet because it rained so much. He lays in his bed with his eyes closed, listening to the noise. There’s was a soft humming near his feet. He glances down. The girl sits in front of the window, watching the rain fall over the forest. A smooth little stone floats over her open hand._

_It’s working._


	15. Chapter 15

When Kai woke in the morning, he wasn’t alone. Milo had crawled into bed with him. There was a cot in the room for him to sleep on, but for some reason Milo decided Kai's bed was better.

He’d never fallen asleep with Milo before. It wasn’t so bad.

He left while Milo was still asleep and went downstairs. Maive and the kids were still asleep, but the others were awake. He felt slightly better — his body wasn’t quite so stiff and he had a little more energy. It was easier to walk.

Milo came downstairs after he woke, an expression on his face that Kai didn’t like. He was worried, nearly panicked, until he saw Kai. He thought Kai had disappeared. He wasn’t even sure how to deal with it. Kai always left. Milo knew that. He didn’t need to be so… concerned.

He did his best to pretend he hadn’t seen it, and Milo did his best to not be too happy Kai wasn’t gone. Which was to say: he did a terrible job of hiding how relieved he was. Covering up his emotions had never been a strength for Milo. The whole awkward thing made him uneasy. As if to make him more anxious, Cerys broke some _terrible_ news.

She had a kind smile, but it was a little stiff. “Kai, everyone was pretty distracted with you waking yesterday. I didn’t want to take away from that so I held off on this announcement, but I heard from Milo’s parents — they’re coming by to see Milo. They’re a little concerned, they just want to make sure he’s okay. They should be here later today.”

Kai had a feeling he’d be going for a long walk later in the day.

 

**

 

His long walk took him to the village not far from their home. It was busier than he expected. There appeared to be some sort of fueling depot where travelers stopped from time to time. He found a small bar at the edge of the city — his kind of place. Small, dark, a little dirty looking. He took a seat at the very end of the bar, where he could sit and watch other  patrons come and go. He would stay here until everything blew over with Milo’s family.

It wasn’t that he had anything against meeting them, it was just that it was entirely unnecessary. Whatever was going on between he and Milo wasn’t a “meet my family” sort of thing. He wasn’t quite sure _what_ it was at the moment, but it for sure wasn’t that kind of thing.

He ordered a drink from the bartender, which turned into an infuriating endeavor involving him repeating himself four times until the bartender nodded like he understood, then gave him the wrong thing.

Whatever. He drank it anyway.

He watched people come and go for awhile. The bar was near the depot, so there were all sorts of people stopping in. He finished his drink and flagged the bartender over, and for some miserable reason attempted to communicate what he actually wanted.

“Are you fucking deaf? The man is ordering Corellian whiskey.” A woman said from the end of the bar. He noticed her enter the bar not long before — she was somewhat hard to miss with a strange, angular haircut and sunglasses that she kept on even though she was indoors.

“He’s not _that_ hard to understand…” She grumbled at the bartender. Maybe she reacted so strongly because she’d been in a similar position before; she had a fairly noticeable accent herself.

The bartender frowned at her and slung the proper drink at him. Kai nodded to the woman, “Thank you.”

“Eh.” She waved it away. “The bartender needs to figure his shit out.”

Kai decided he was done drinking after this one. There was no way the bartender wouldn’t spit in his drink after her comments. “Where are you from?”

“Hm.” She tilted her head a little. “Ysook. Have you heard of it?”

“I have.” Long before he was born the planet was very famous for its whiskey. She was probably alive in its glory days. And here she sat, at a bar, with a glass of whiskey in her hand.

She turned back to her drink and took her sunglasses off, rubbing her eyes like she was tired. They were scarred — he could see it from where he was sitting. She must have been blind.

He felt a little bad, talking to her from such a distance. He moved to a seat closer to her. “So… how does it feel drinking shit whiskey like this?”

A crooked smile cracked onto her face and she blinked, her eyes dreamy and unfocused. “You have no idea. It’s awful.”

“It’s hard to come by any bottles from Ysook any more.”

“Oh? You’re a fan?”

“Anyone with good taste is.”

“Well, I do have several bottles in my personal collection.”

“Several?” This woman must have been someone important, because a collection like that was _not_ cheap.

She nodded. “Family heirlooms, so to speak.”

“Your parents were collectors?”

“Manufacturers.” She smiled at him, “My name is Mika Volkov.”

Volkov. Shit. He rubbed his mouth. He was sitting next to whiskey royalty and had no idea. He shook her hand, “I’m Kai. It’s good to meet you.”

Her crooked smile twitched a little. He wondered what happened to her eyes to cause such terrible scarring. “It’s good to meet you too. You aren’t from here?”

“No, I’m from a little place in the unknown regions.”

“Hm. And what brings you to this place, Kai?”

He was happy she couldn’t see his face. He was trying to figure out how he could possibly explain how he ended up here without sounding completely crazy. He sighed. “Just… complicated things.”

“What sort of complicated things?”

He shook his head. Whatever. He was on some foreign planet talking to a strange blind woman he’d never see again. She seemed like someone he would get along with. “A guy.”

She hummed. “A complicated guy?”

“I don’t know that I’d say the guy is complicated. The guy is pretty… simple to understand. It’s all the other things making it complicated.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah.” He laughed a little. “Yeah… he’s… I mean as a person he’s complex, but us being together has never been complex, if that makes any sense.”

She nodded slowly. “I think I see what you mean.”

“Right…”

“You just fuck?”

He wasn’t really expecting the blatant response — he nearly choked on his drink. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

She finished off her glass and in what he thought was likely a lapse of judgment ordered another from the bartender. Kai watched the bartender carefully — he didn’t look happy, but he kept her glass clean. When he slid it to her she tapped the table. “One more for my friend as well, please.”

Kai wasn’t even done with the one in front of him.

“I have one of those too.” She said offhandedly.

He wanted to laugh. She must have been in her 50’s, it was unusual to hear about someone that age screwing around. “A complicated one?”

She sniffed. “Oh… you have no idea. He is one of those… very emotionally needy people.”

“Yeah, I understand that, for sure.” Milo had always been like that as well, though he’d done a good job of keeping a lid on it in the past. It was just now, after everything got so messy, that he was struggling to keep it contained.

“It is difficult to keep things simple with an emotionally needy one, hm?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. How long have you been with this guy?”

“Mm… nearly 30 years.”

He coughed, nearly spitting up his drink. “ _30 years?!_ You don’t just… screw around with someone for 30 years.”

“You don’t? How long have you been with your emotionally complex guy?”

“Er… A few years…”

“A few years? What exactly is the cutoff?” She grinned and traced a line on the bar top with her finger. “At what point are you not just screwing around?”

He rubbed his mouth. He’d been asking himself that for awhile. “I don’t know.”

He wasn’t sure if her eyes looked dreamy because of the damage, or if she was being a little wistful. “I don’t know either.”

“Do you two see other people?”

“Hm… I used to. At some point… at some point I realized I wasn’t enjoying myself as much with others. We’ve never spoken of it, really. But there has not been anyone else in a long time.”

Strange. He’d noticed that as well with Milo. “It doesn’t… bother you? How complicated it is?”

“It used to. At some point I realized it was only as complicated as we were making it. We have a good understanding of each other. We give each other breathing room. It makes things easier.”

“Does he see others?”

She frowned a little. “Like I said, we’ve never really spoken of it. Neither of us responds well to rules.”

“Would it bother you if he were?”

Her frown deepened. “I think he knows it would not go over well.”

He tried not to laugh at her foreboding tone. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get so personal.”

“Mm.” She waved. “What about you and your emotionally needy guy?”

“No. We’re not exclusive.”

“Hm. So there are others?”

He hesitated. “There hasn’t been. For awhile.  For me, at least.”

She nodded a little. She understood. It was kind of nice to hear she’d been through something similar. “Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know…” He’d been trying to figure that out since it started happening. “It was just… it was easier with him. So I stopped seeing other people. And then it got more complicated. A lot more complicated.”

“I’m afraid I do not understand. What’s complicated about this situation?”

“It wasn’t supposed to be so… so personal. It was supposed to be a matter of convenience. And then it morphed into this strange… _emotional_ thing.”

“Hm. That sounds like you, not him.”

He looked at her for a moment. She was absolutely right. That was what terrified him. “It’s not really conducive to my lifestyle to be attached to people.”

“Do you not think he can take care of himself?”

That was a loaded question. He sighed. “He’s… he’s a complete wreck half the time, I don’t really know how he’s managed to not get himself killed yet. But he’s not dead. So… yeah. I guess he can take care of himself.”

“You worry for him?”

Yet another thing that terrified him, so much that he could barely push the word out. “… Yeah.”

He didn’t know why he worried about Milo so much. If his life since Maive proved anything at all, it was that Kai was the incompetent one, not Milo. Kai had the scar to prove it.

“You care about him?” She had a quirked little smile on her face.

He rubbed his mouth, and downed the rest of the drink she’d ordered him. “Strangely enough… yes… I never really meant to.”

She shook her head. “You don’t get to choose in these matters, it isn’t something you can control. Trust me, I know.” She motioned to the bartender to bring them more drinks.

They needed a new subject, this one was getting too heavy. “So what brought you to this planet?” He tried to focus on watching the bartender to make sure their drinks stayed clean, but was distracted when the door opened. Milo walked into the bar, scanning the room for him.

He froze, looking back at Kai with wide, horrified eyes.

“Ah,” Mika said, welcoming her next drink with a smile. “Well, my emotional mess of guy and I have an emotional mess of a son, and I recently received news that he’s been causing some problems for friends of ours here… I figured I should come to a bar and drink while things blew over between the two emotional wrecks I chose to spend my life with.”

Milo looked like he was about to drop dead in the doorway.

Kai looked at the woman for a moment. “You’re…”

“The mother of your emotional mess, yes.” She smiled at him. “I see he hasn’t mentioned me before.”

“No… I’m afraid he hasn’t.”

Someone entered behind Milo, pushing him into the bar fully with a slight scowl on his face. It was an older man, tall with dark hair and a scar on his face. He was good looking in a sort of crooked, brooding way.

He didn’t really have to guess who it was — he just hoped that Milo would age as nicely.

The man shot Kai a glare and came over to them, Milo tailing behind him and looking sorry. “Mika…” He reached out and touched her shoulder to let her know he was there.

“Hey mom…” Milo said a little too quietly.

Mika frowned and swatted at Milo. “What are you thinking putting this nice young man in danger…”

 

**

 

Meeting Milo’s parents actually wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. Admittedly, had he known how well he would get along with Milo’s mother he wouldn’t have gone to hide at the bar in the first place.

Mika and Ren both know Cerys well — Mika spent a good deal of the evening speaking with her. Ren talked with Iz for awhile, and spent some time working with Pan and Maive on some Force things. He was different than Kai expected — a little more calm and much kinder. He really didn’t live up to all the terrible stories he’d heard of the man. Maybe it was the environment, or maybe he’d settled down with age. Either way, Kai didn’t find him even remotely frightening.

He suspected his complete lack of fear around the man annoyed him, because he never really bothered to say anything to Kai. It seemed like he was avoiding him.

Later in the evening, Ren and Mika retired to his ship. Most everyone took to their rooms, turning in a little early for a full night’s rest. Kai decided to take a shower, because as much as he enjoyed the small bar he and Mika had chatted at, he was left feeling a little gross after he left.

He stood under the stream of water, letting it run over his bare body and trying to figure out what his next move was. He had a few outstanding items he needed to take care of, and a painful decision he knew he had to make…

And then Milo walked in. Not into the room, but straight into the shower, wearing nothing but a strange expression Kai wasn’t particularly fond of.

He stepped back and gave him room under the stream of water. “You never told me who your mother is. You run around the galaxy bragging about who your father is, but you never mentioned you’re practically whiskey royalty…”

He stepped under the stream, his expression not really changing. “I try to keep her out of my messes. Safer for her.”

Kai nodded.  He understood that.

Milo looked sad. He reached out, running his fingers along Kai’s jawline. “Kai…”

Kai really wasn’t in the mood for talking. He’d spent all day talking, with Mika and Iz and Cerys, and quite frankly he was tired.

So before Milo could launch into a one-sided speech, Kai shut him up. He stepped closer and pulled his face down and kissed him.

An emotional mess — that was what Mika had called him. It was absolutely, completely correct. He’d been that way ever since he’d known him. It wasn’t just that he felt every emotion possible, but that he felt every emotion so deeply… sometimes Kai wondered if the intensity of his emotions was physically painful for him.

Like when he kissed him. It was like his body melted, sinking lower, grasping at Kai’s ribs and pulling him closer. Or maybe he was sinking lower because Kai was pulling on him. He was obnoxiously tall, it was one of those things Kai appreciated for visual purposes but hated in practice.

How they’d gone from years of simple, physical fun to this… this messy, complicated, desperate thing… he would never be able to figure it out.

Milo sank even lower, dropping to his knees and clinging to Kai’s bare body like he needed support. He kept their lips close, and as if he wanted the whole thing to be even more complicated, whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He had nothing to be sorry for. If anything, this entire mess was all Kai’s fault for going anywhere near him while he was trying to find a safe place for Maive.

“I’m sorry.” He kissed down his neck, down his chest,to his ribs… his lips hovered over the scar, brushing it lightly. “I never told you. I never told you how much I hated this scar the first time I saw it.”

Was that what this was about? The damn scar? He hated it too, it was a permanent reminder of his poor judgment… everything had changed so much and it all hinged on the stupid scar. It had nearly killed him, nearly left Maive stranded alone in his secluded home, and left Kai with a burning need to go see Milo.

“Quit being dramatic…”

He cut Kai off with a light squeeze to the ribs, not on his injured side, but over the scar. He traced his fingertips along it. “I felt it. I felt it when it happened to you. The Force showed it to me. I could feel your pain, I could feel how afraid you were… I didn’t know it was you at the time, but I could feel it. And then you showed up… at my ship… with this…” He kissed over it again.

The Force showed it to him? Was that what this was? Was that what had changed everything? The Force?

“I hate it because I could feel how much it hurt you, how afraid you were, and I didn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell you I felt it happen. Everything changed so quickly and I never just… just told you.”

Kai stood under the stream of water and looked down at him, wondering if he’d finally found the missing piece, the thing he’d been trying to figure out all this time. The Force.


	16. The Scar Part 2

_He’s not even sure how he manages to pilot his ship to help and safely land it — the bleeding is so intense he’s made a complete mess of his ship._

_His career choice was a game. Winning the game was really a matter of common sense: have a realistic idea of what you can handle, and don’t take a job that’s more than you can handle. This is what happens when you turn into a cocky bastard. You get yourself killed._

_It was a job for two people, and he knew that when he looked into the details. But Malie was gone and he’d gotten the stupid idea that he’d be able to handle it by himself._

_And now he has a massive, gaping wound in his side that’s going to kill him before he can get to help. He’s lucky he didn’t just get sliced in two. To make it even worse, Maive was home waiting for him. How long would she wait? The nearest village was over an hour away, she had no idea where it was. She’d be stuck… waiting…_

_He staggers out of the ship and toward the rusty, industrial building he’s only been to a few times before. He can barely stand, barely take a step. He holds his side, like somehow that might stop a little bit of the bleeding._

_Darkness eats at the corners of his vision. He shakes it away and takes another step. It seems like the door gets further away with each step closer._

_He falls._

_**_

_Kai wakes on a table. Not in a medical bed, not even in a cot. On a table._

_He recognizes where he is immediately from the dingy, blue-green glow and the exposed pipes above his face. He’s been here before, a few times, to get patched up after jobs._

_An IV bag is feeding liquid into his arm. He tries to push himself upright, but feels dizzy._

_Something hits his side, like someone swatting at an insect._

_“What the hell were you thinking, you idiot? You’re damn lucky I stepped out for some fresh air. You would have bled to death out there, three steps from my door.”_

_Pleit was a doctor who made his services available to people like Kai. People who can’t go to an actual hospital, for legality reasons. Kai often wonders if he’s an actual doctor, or if he just gave himself the title and figured out the medical stuff as he went. He suspects the second option is the case. He didn’t seem like the type to go through years of training._

_Kai manages a grunt. “Yeah. Thanks.”_

_Pleit huffs. “You owe me a hell of a lot more than a thanks. This one’s going to cost you.”_

_He nods. “Yeah. Got it.” He lets his head acclimate to being upright and swings his legs over the ledge of the table. It hurts. Everything hurts. Particularly his side._

_Pleit throws Kai’s shirt at him, “You can have that back, though I don’t think it’ll be much use.”_

_Kai holds it up. It’s barely a shirt any more — there’s a massive hole in the side where he was injured. He looks down at the wound. It’s massive, running down the entire length of his torso, crossing from back to front._

_“You know…” Pleit bites his lip for a moment, looking like he wants to curse. “You’re not the first person to show up at my door with an injury like that. That’s not even the worst I’ve seen. But I never expected to see_ you _with that kind of injury. You’re one of the most careful people I think I’ve ever met. How the hell did you end up with that?”_

_“Bad job.”_

_“Ha. Yeah. A really fucking bad job, if you ask me.” He pauses, frowning. “You got in over your head, didn’t you?”_

_Kai doesn’t need to answer that. It’s obvious._

_Pleit sighs. “You haven’t seen Malie either? I’ve had a few people ask about her. She’s been missing for awhile.”_

_With a heavy grunt, he pushes himself off the table and lies. “Haven’t seen her.” He doesn’t want to face Pleit’s reaction to Malie’s death._

_He nods slowly. “If she turns up here, I’ll let you know.”_

_Kai tosses his ruined shirt into the trash. “How would you let me know? You don’t know how to contact me.” Maive. She was alone, in his home. He needs to get back to her. “How long has it been?”_

_“Two days.”_

_Fuck. He needs to go._

_He makes it to his ship and closes the door quickly before he nearly falls. He’s exhausted. There’s a mirror in his ship — he takes a look at the scar. It’s even worse in a mirror._

_Learn from your mistakes, Malie had once told him. Because mistakes will kill you if you let them happen a second time._

_Only this wasn’t a mistake. It was sheer stupidity, and ego. The whole thing had been one massive, stupid lapse in judgment that had nearly cost him his life. He needed to be more careful in the future. No more jobs, not until he figured out what to do with the girl._

_He sinks into a seat, trying to gather himself before leaving._

_His hands shake. They’re shaking so much he can see it._

_An urge comes over him — this strange, completely uncalled for need to go see Milo. It’s certainly not arousal— he  doesn’t have the energy for that right now._

_He squashes the feeling and makes his way back home, to see Maive._

_**_

_Maive looks terrified. He apologizes. She cries. She howls and sobs into his shirt. He keeps the scar hidden, but she can tell he’s hurt. It must be a Force thing, she keeps repeating it._

_There won’t be any more missions. Not until he’s found a better home for her._

_He still has strange, nearly painful desire to go see Milo. But he can’t leave her alone. So he takes her along, and makes her stay in his ship. He feels terrible about it, like he’s failing her a second time. He doesn’t explain where they’re going, but she doesn’t ask or offer any objections to staying on the ship. Maybe she’s grateful he’s not leaving her alone again. Maybe, through some strange Force thing, she can understand he needs to make this trip._

_**_

_Maybe it’s a Force thing with Milo too. Kai doesn’t want to talk, and Milo just seems to get that. Usually he can’t shut up, but this time he’s quiet. He closes his eyes and focuses, trying to lose his thoughts in what Milo is doing — the way his fingertips trace over his body, the way the curls of his hair drag over his skin as Milo works his way downward. Somehow, he just gets it. Without any words, Milo seems to understand Kai doesn’t care to be in control this time, he just wants to stop thinking about everything that had happened and let Milo make the decisions for a little bit. He can’t stop a gasp as Milo starts to kiss down his ribs…_

_And then his lips stop over the scar._

_“Kai… what the hell is this?”_

_Kai hates that he noticed. He hates his tone. He hates how sincerely worried he sounds, because it reminds him too much of how worried he was when it happened._

_“I’m fine.”_

_Milo’s silence makes it even worse. Milo isn’t an idiot — he knows how bad the wound is. He can tell how new it is. He’s probably wondering what Kai is doing here, just days after getting such a terrible wound. He probably wants to know how it happened. Kai would have to sit next to him, half naked, and try to explain how his business partner was dead and he’d made a poor judgment call and tried to complete the job without her, and oh by the way her daughter is hanging out in my ship waiting for me to finish up business here because I can’t find anyone else I trust to take care of her…_

_He pushed Milo away and stood. He came here to take his mind off all this._

_“What happened?” He sounds so genuinely concerned. Milo always acts bigger than he is. He’s frightened for Kai, and it’s putting Kai on edge._

_“I’m fine. It was just a job. Things happen.” He doesn’t want to elaborate any further. He wants to leave and be away from Milo, so he doesn’t make him feel any worse about the whole debacle._

_“No… don’t leave yet.”_

_His tone is the worst thing… he sounds as confused and broken as Kai feels. It makes him pause. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Please… please don’t keep pestering for information._

_Milo is silent. He’s thinking, building toward something. Probably another question. He needs to leave, before Milo can ask anything else._

_Just as he turns to leave, he feels Milo’s arm wrap around his waist. He pulls Kai back into the bed._

_Usually, Kai would have hated him doing something like that. But this time he just lets it happen, because he’s tired of fighting and he’s tired of thinking and he’s tired of talking._

_This time, thankfully, Milo really gets it. He gets it a little too much. He’s overwhelming, sure of every move he makes. But he’s gentle — that’s something new. Kai wants to hate it, but he doesn’t, which scares him more than anything._

_It feels almost alien to be so close. He and Milo have been screwing around for years, but for some reason this feels different. The skin contact alone is electric, he finds himself wanting more and more of Milo… more touching, more closeness, more of everything._

_Milo is dramatic. He’s practically built of emotions. Kai has never been like that._

_But for a moment, when it comes to an end, he keeps his face hidden in a pillow and tries to gather himself. Milo doesn’t need to see every piece of him, does he?_


	17. Goodbyes

Milo crammed into the small bed with him again, which made it all the more difficult to leave. He waited for hours, until the house was so silent all that could be heard was the waves outside.

Luckily, he’d learned something in the past few days: Milo may as well have been dead when he slept. He was pretty certain he could have shoved him off the bed and he still wouldn’t wake up.

He stood next to the bed, looking at the snoring mess of curled black hair for a moment. It really wasn’t the “getting out of bed” part that was difficult. It was this part. But he needed to take care of this next journey alone. Milo would never just let him leave — it was easier this way.

He stepped out of the room quietly, and headed for the stairs. He paused in front of the kid’s room. He wanted to go in, but Maive was a much lighter sleeper than Milo. She’d wake up the second he opened the door. He shook his head and went downstairs.

He had a good stock of credit coins — he left them on the counter and made for the door.

“You don’t need to leave us money.”

The voice made him jump. Iz sat on the sofa, watching him with a small frown, next to Ren, who had a much more noticeable frown. How Kai had failed to notice them when he entered the room was a mystery. Maybe it was another Force thing.

“I had a feeling you’d try to sneak away.” Iz stood from the sofa and shrugged to the door. “Let’s talk outside.”

Kai was grateful for the suggestion — the last thing he needed was their conversation waking Maive.

“Bring your credits with you, we won’t accept them.”

He hesitated, then grabbed the small bag. He would drop it somewhere again right before he left.

Iz lead him out to the dock, where he sighed as he sank into a chair. “I take it neither of them know that you’re leaving?”

Kylo Ren didn’t sit. He stood, arms crossed, still frowning. Generally speaking Kai didn’t find him intimidating, but up this close something about his gaze was a little unnerving. Not necessarily frightening, but Kai felt like he could see straight through him. Maybe he could, with the Force.

He glanced back to the house. “No. Milo will be fine. I disappear all the time, he knows I come back.” Kylo Ren’s intense glare was making him anxious. He decided the best approach was dealing with it the same way he dealt with Milo’s eccentric behavior: be entirely unimpressed. “Do you constantly stand around glaring at people or is it just me?”

He heard Iz choke back a laugh.

The man broke eye contact and looked away, to the ocean. “What are you running from? You’re just going to drop the girl into their hands because she’s inconvenient to you?”

“Look, someone is after me. They nearly killed me and probably could have killed your son. I can’t keep her safe.” He shook his head, looking back to Iz. “And she’s happy here. She’s learning about her gift, how to control it… You and Cerys and your family are much, much better for her than I ever could be.”

Iz’s mouth twisted in a small frown. “Are you so sure about that? Don’t misunderstand me: Cerys and I would be happy to have her around. We have the space, and she gets along well with the kids, but she’s very attached to you.” He paused and shook his head. “She’s not going to be happy without you.”

“How old is she? Maybe five years old? She doesn’t know what she wants, or what she needs.”

“I think you’re very wrong about that. What is it you think we can provide that you can’t?”

“Training. Legitimate training. And a family. And more than anything else right now, a safe place to grow up.”

“She seems pretty talented.” Kylo Ren said. “Whatever you’ve been doing to train her, it’s worked.”

“I agree with that,” Iz said, “but if that’s truly your concern I’d be more than happy to continue training her even if you were around. And right now, I would bet she thinks of you as the only family she has.”

He huffed. “And my last point? Keeping her safe? Those two freaks that came after her… the two who nearly killed me? They’re going to track me down again, and I can’t guarantee I can keep her safe when they do. But they don’t know she’s here. She’s safe from them here, while I figure out who they are and take care of that mess.”

Iz nodded slowly. Kylo Ren was still trying to look through him. “And what happens after you take care of the two who came after you?”

He rubbed his mouth. This shouldn’t be so difficult to explain. “Look… I kill people for a living. My lifestyle -- my profession -- it’s not safe to have a kid around.”

Iz hesitated. “Kai… I was in your shoes once. Before I met my wife, I dabbled in that business.” He paused and looked at his home, “Sometimes the universe is kind enough to present you with a fork in the road, with a chance to go in an entirely new direction before you go too far down a path that will turn very, very dark.”

He frowned. “This is what I know. It’s what I do, and I’m very good at it. I don’t have the slightest clue how to raise a kid. I’ve never wanted that in my life. So I don’t need a lecture in ethics, this is purely a matter of common sense. I’m no good for her. I can’t take care of her.”

Iz looked at him quietly for a moment.

Kylo Ren was the one to finally agree with him. “Iz, he’s right.”

“Thank you.” _Finally_.

The man shot him an intense glare. “The thing you’re wrong about is that you think don’t have a choice in the matter. You do. You could choose to leave this lifestyle and be with someone who clearly loves you very much. You are very deliberately making the decision to prioritize your job over such a relationship. Don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise.” With that, he turned to leave them. “I’m done here. He’s chosen his path already.”

Kai didn’t bother to watch him leave. He understood the man’s stance, but Ren was failing to understand the full scope of Kai’s situation.

Iz didn’t appear happy with Kai’s answer either. “So you plan to go after the two who just about killed you? By yourself?”

“No. I have something I need to take care of first.” He pulled his weapon from his hip and handed the dart portion to Iz. He looked at it, realization suddenly crossing his face. He ran his finger over the hooked design melded into the base.

“This is…”

He shook his head, still trying to come to terms with it himself. “About a year ago I ran into a Nagai couple not terribly far from here. I never see other Nagai around here, so I talked to them. They told me they were looking for their son.” He nodded to the dart. “The man — Pan’s father — gave me that.”

Iz looked at him for a moment. “You think you can find them?”

“Yes, I should be able to track them down. They were doing a lot of their research trying to find him through the same people I use to track people down.”

“Can you do it in less than two months?” His expression had changed completely, from disappointment to hope. “He’s leaving to go look for them in just a few months. If you can find them before that…”

He nodded. “I think I can.”

His mouth hung open for a moment. “You need to speak with Mika before you go.”

The last thing he needed was another lecture about how he shouldn’t go, especially not from her… he actually really liked Mika. “Look, I don’t…”

Iz shook his head, “She tracks people down for a living. She’s excellent at it. She can help you.” He stood quickly, starting for her ship. “Come with me.”

Iz led him to the ship, where he banged on the door until Kylo Ren opened it, looking unhappy to see Kai. “What?”

“We need to talk to Mika…”

The man looked like he was about to object when Mika’s voice came from the back of the ship, “Ren, go for a walk. I can help them with what they need.”

He frowned for a moment, then pushed past them and made his way off into the dark beach.

“Mika,” Iz called back into the ship, trying to locate her. “Kai’s leaving to find someone. Do you think you could help him?”

She came around the corner, tutting. “The people who attacked him? I’m afraid the vague details are going to make that difficult…”

“No, he’s trying to find Pan’s parents.”

She cocked her head, “The young one with the pretty voice? The one you’ve been training?”

“I saw his parents in the area about a year ago, they were looking for him.” Kai explained. “I should be able to find them on my own, you don’t need to…”

“I’ll get you information for all my contacts in the area.” Mika cut him off with a nod. “Come with me. Iz, I’m sure you’re tired. Go see your wife and go to bed.”

A small smile flickered over Iz’s lips. “Right. I’ll leave you two.” He nodded at Kai. “Can you promise me one thing? When you find them, come back here with them.”

“Would that be… appropriate?” He didn’t want to give the girl false hope.

“You’re going to break her heart leaving like this. Come back to see her, at the very least to give her a proper goodbye.”

He nodded. He could make that work. Maybe. At least he had a few months to think about how he would approach the matter. “I will. Thank you for taking her in.”

Mika led Kai to the cockpit. It was interesting to watch her — she was very adept at maneuvering the ship despite the fact that she couldn’t see. She must have had every detail of the layout memorized.

She loaded a small chip with the information he needed and handed it to him. “There’s twelve people on there, including myself. If the eleven others can’t help you, reach back out to me. I will give you as much help as I can.”

“Thank you.” He hesitated. There was a question he wanted to ask her, before he left.

She didn’t respond. He got the sense she knew he needed to say something else.

“Has Kylo Ren ever mentioned… a connection with you? Force based, I mean.”

She hummed. “Yes. With me, and with our son.” She was quiet for a moment. “I take it my son has mentioned one to you?”

“Er… yes. It seems to have happened by mistake or something.”

Her smile twitched a little. He was terribly happy she couldn’t see his face. He felt like crawling into a hole and hiding. He had no clue how to even begin discussing something like this.

“When did it happen for you two? I mean… do you know what caused it?”

“What caused it? My understanding is that it’s related to lo— to how deeply he connects with a person.”

He was grateful she avoided the word, he couldn’t deal with that right now. “I understand that, but was there a specific event that triggered the whole thing?”

Her grin faded a little. “I think I see what you are asking. There was an event that made it evident.”

He wanted to ask, but something about her expression told him it might be something too personal to speak of.

She sighed. “You are thinking about this matter incorrectly. The event didn’t trigger the connection. The event has nothing to do with the connection. The connection was already there. Such things don’t happen with the flip of a switch. They take time, they develop slowly.”

It was entirely the answer he didn’t want.

“Loss — or the realization of just how easy it is to lose someone — often makes connection more noticeable.” She smiled a little. “So I hate to tell you this because I am sure it is not what you want to hear, but I suspect my son has cared about you very deeply for quite some time, long before this event you are thinking of. He just didn’t realize it until the Force smacked him over the head with it.” She shrugged. “You will find that’s very often the case for him.”

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but maybe not quite for the reason she was thinking. It was unnerving to think that Milo had found himself with some slow-forming, deeply felt connection to him. But what was really terrifying to him was that he had fallen victim to the very same thing. Maybe not exactly the same — not a Force based connection. But whatever the connection was, it had made its way to his core.

“You will come back to him, correct?” Mika asked quietly. “Not that it is any of my business, but I know my son very well, and I don’t like to see him hurting.”

He tried to shake the heavy feeling of realization from his shoulders. He needed to leave soon, to take care of this one little mission before he could turn his full attention to the two people who’d upturned his life.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll be back with both of them soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read!
> 
> There will be another much longer story to tie all these threads together, but I need to take a hiatus from this series before publishing it. I want to make sure I take the time to put out a good story for you all! Don't hold me to anything I say, but you can probably expect a 3-4 month wait before you see the next story in this series. If you have any questions/comments you can always leave a comment here or hit me up on Tumblr (same user name)!


End file.
